If you are here looking for My Ashes Diary, firstly let me thank you for doing so, I enjoy writing it very much and love the feedback that I have gotten so far (good and bad).
However this is my personal blog and I am writing more and more about sport so myself and George Allwell have started a new blog which is where I will be posting my diary from now on...
http://thesportscast.wordpress.com
...once again I thank you for reading thus far and I hope you will continue to read on all the way through till the end of the ashes.
Thanks
Marcus.
Wednesday 1 December 2010
Monday 29 November 2010
Ashes diary –Day 5
Still got a cracking headache from Saturday’s exploits so once again I am sat here ready for the start of play, I don’t really see any other outcome than a draw but would love to see England pile on the runs just to piss off Ponting, hammer home another 400 during the day would be fucking great.
Sadly I feel I know Mr Strauss well enough that if we make it to tea with a colossal lead he will pointlessly declare and allow the bowlers a go at the top order, either way I’m reasonably sure that when I wake up tomorrow (haven’t made it through the night once yet, don’t think tonight will be the night I do it for the first time) we will have drawn the 1st test despite Australia seemingly having victory in their hands after the 3rd day.
23.44pm: I tune in to TMSofa’s coverage ready for the start (not going back to Sky commentary, from now on I am a devoted Sofa fan, my snack update is quick and simple, I have no snacks at all, I had a lovely meal of chicken and chips before and am completely stuffed still.
00.00am: First ball of the day from Hilfenhaus to Cook, England are starting day 5 on 309/1, that’s right, 309/1...against Australia, in Australia, lovely!
00.29am: Cook brings up his 150, he looks in great touch and could easily bat all day, please let him get to his triple century Straussy, don’t even consider a pointless declaration.
00.54am: As you can see from the gap between entries today is not looking like it is going to be full of incident, England are looking in supreme touch and the Australians don’t look like they can find a way to take one wicket today, let alone another 9!
00.56am: I will assume that someone heard me write that last entry as Trott just gave Clarke some easy 1st slip catching practice, fortunately Clarke is a massive bag of shit at the moment and doesn’t look like he could catch a cold, so inevitably he drops it, I can’t stress how routine a catch that was, poor Pup!
01.01am: As easy as it is to mock Clarke, it is far, far easier to ridicule Mitchell Johnson, firstly it has to be noted that I once saw him single handedly decimate a potent South African attack, make no mistake, on his day MiJo is a dangerous bowler...today is not his day!
After dropping Strauss on 69 yesterday things didn’t look like they could get worse, but his bowling has been garbage and he has just sent a delivery a clear 2 yards behind Cook’s back and it sails all the way for 4 wides, it made Harmison’s opening efforts from 4 years ago seem accurate, we are literally watching the fall of a once average cricketer!
01.16am: X-Doh is on and being shit at bowling, I’m not surprised as he is a shit bowler.
01.19am: After performances in this test, but especially today, I think that Clarke, Johnson and X-Doh could all struggle to make it for the 2nd test, not sure it will, but I would be very surprised if X-Doh ever wears the baggy green again.
Johnson is different because despite how shit he is being (and he is being really shit) Australia know he can do it at the highest level, as for Clarke, he is the heir apparent, the man groomed as Ponting’s successor, could they possibly drop him, for me, I think they should, but don’t think they will.
01.26am: X-Doh has just given 8 byes in 2 balls due to the cracks forming on the pitch, I still think we should bat right through to the end but would love to see Swanny have a go!
01.41am: The aussies are completely hapless, no chance of anything happening here, as much as I am enjoying watching the demoralisation of their bowling attack, this is turning into a moot day of cricket.
01.42am: Jonathan Trott passes 1000 test runs for the year of 2010, very impressive from the South African...Englishman!
01.53am: Cook brings up his double hundred, awesome work from out vice-captain!
01.56am: Turned the Xbox on ready for my ensuing FIFA battle at lunchtime, not making excuses but still got a banging headache!
01.59am: Trott gets to his century meaning all 3 all England’s top batmen have made it to 3 figures, only ever happened once before in the history of English cricket, once again I remind you this is Australia we are playing...in Australia!
02.00am: Lunch break, England are 439/1, that’s 439/1...one more time... four...hundred...and...thirty...nine...runs...for...one...wicket!!!
Here is the bit you are waiting for, my FIFA battle, today’s opponent is Krishan 7, I choose Man City (seem to enjoy playing as city) and he chooses Man Utd.
He is one of those really annoying players that you can’t get the ball from, and he makes the possession pay with a poachers effort from Nani, he takes possession back almost immediately and strolls through the defence and slots home to make it 2-0, I am really struggling here and go in at half-time 2-0 down.
I start the second half in the same vain and narrowly avoid conceding a third, things are looking grim and my unbeaten record looks like going, then a hopeful long ball finds Tevez and a sharp turn leaves him one on one with the keeper and he finishes, maybe a draw is possible, 4 minutes later I get a free-kick from around 30 yards, Tevez steps up and dispatches it nicely to square things up.
I have all the momentum now and a junking run from Tevez down the left side and a low cross finds Kolo Toure in the striker’s position and he slams the ball home, unbelievably I am now in the lead with only 10 minutes left, then Krishan 7 committed the cardinal sin of gaming...
....HE QUIT EARLY!!!
Now this is unforgivable, I send him the standard message...”You got owned, bitch!” but no reply, as it was so late in the game I am not sure whether the 3-2 result stands or as he quit a 3-0 score line should be awarded to me, I’ll take the 3-2 (only because it was late in the game)
Manchester City Vs Manchester Utd
3-2
Tevez 60’, 66’ Nani 17’
K Toure 80’ Berbatov 31’
02.44am: Play has resumed, not sure this should be added to the snack counter but got myself a pint of water, also taken two Nurofen for the headache.
02.55am: England reach 444/1, a quadruple nelson!
03.04am: Johnson sends a delivery 2 yards behind cook again for 4 wides, if I was more cynical I would suggest he is playing shit on purpose!
03.12am: Ponting claims a catch from Trott, goes to the 3rd umpire and is inconclusive so given not out, Ponting questions the decision...ooh I hope he gets a fine for dissent, that would be very special!
03.24am: I have just tweeted my 1979th tweet, only special because I was born in 1979, I dedicated it to this diary.
03.37am: England bring up the 500 because of another shite delivery from X-Doh, now 502/1.
03.47am: This is now the latest I have awake since the start of the ashes, is the reason because England have been awesome? Maybe I am just not tired? Maybe it’s because my head is still fucking killing me? Faye has told me to go back to the doctors tomorrow so that is what I will be doing.
Seeing as this is nearly over I may let myself drop off, nothing much more exciting will happen from here.
03.59am: ENGLAND HAVE DECLARED! I fucking told you, Strauss is so predictable, he should have just left Cook to stay out and get his triple century, realistically he could have gone on and got 350 odd, Trott would have made a double century also.
And...Australia could actually win from here, 40 overs and 297 the target, it’s unlikely buy theoretically they could do it.
04.23am: Very sleepy now so definitely the last entry, Australia now need something like 8.5 an over to win which simply isn’t going to happen, I will awaken to find Australia finished on 102/0 therefore making it (as I’ve repeatedly said) a pointless declaration!
11.01am: Awake, I have woken a few times this morning but kept dropping off so this is my official awake time, I was nearly right with my prediction, Australia finished on 107/1 with Ponting hitting 51 and Twatto getting 41.
The result of the first test is a draw meaning my ludicrously optimistic prediction of a 3-0 win for England is still on.
I have really enjoyed the test match though and am very much looking forward to the next one, which is also where I will pick my diary up from.
This test will be remembered for a few things, England’s failure with the bat 1stinnings, Hussey (who was lucky to be playing if you believe some reports) scoring 195, then England’s total dominance with the bat second innings which includes Cook’s magnificent 235 not out.
Bowling wise Finn taking 6 wickets in Australia’s 1st innings was very encouraging and of course Siddle’s hat trick was brilliant (even if he is a massive twat)
For me the most memorable thing (other than Cooky’s 235) will be Australia relying on players who simply aren’t good enough, X-Doh and Johnson will be very lucky to retain their places as Australia have already added Bollinger and Harris to the squad, Clarke won’t be dropped but seriously needs to remember how to play cricket or he will be a weakness that England will exploit every single innings.
All in all I am satisfied with the draw (remember Australia need to win outright as we currently hold the Ashes) and it is definitely advantage England heading into Adelaide on Thursday.
Which is where I will see you next.
Thanks.
Marcus.
Sleep total for 1st test – 28.5 hours (still quite respectable but remember bad head + painkillers)
FIFA record P5 W4 D1 L0 – F13 A5.
Sadly I feel I know Mr Strauss well enough that if we make it to tea with a colossal lead he will pointlessly declare and allow the bowlers a go at the top order, either way I’m reasonably sure that when I wake up tomorrow (haven’t made it through the night once yet, don’t think tonight will be the night I do it for the first time) we will have drawn the 1st test despite Australia seemingly having victory in their hands after the 3rd day.
23.44pm: I tune in to TMSofa’s coverage ready for the start (not going back to Sky commentary, from now on I am a devoted Sofa fan, my snack update is quick and simple, I have no snacks at all, I had a lovely meal of chicken and chips before and am completely stuffed still.
00.00am: First ball of the day from Hilfenhaus to Cook, England are starting day 5 on 309/1, that’s right, 309/1...against Australia, in Australia, lovely!
00.29am: Cook brings up his 150, he looks in great touch and could easily bat all day, please let him get to his triple century Straussy, don’t even consider a pointless declaration.
00.54am: As you can see from the gap between entries today is not looking like it is going to be full of incident, England are looking in supreme touch and the Australians don’t look like they can find a way to take one wicket today, let alone another 9!
00.56am: I will assume that someone heard me write that last entry as Trott just gave Clarke some easy 1st slip catching practice, fortunately Clarke is a massive bag of shit at the moment and doesn’t look like he could catch a cold, so inevitably he drops it, I can’t stress how routine a catch that was, poor Pup!
01.01am: As easy as it is to mock Clarke, it is far, far easier to ridicule Mitchell Johnson, firstly it has to be noted that I once saw him single handedly decimate a potent South African attack, make no mistake, on his day MiJo is a dangerous bowler...today is not his day!
After dropping Strauss on 69 yesterday things didn’t look like they could get worse, but his bowling has been garbage and he has just sent a delivery a clear 2 yards behind Cook’s back and it sails all the way for 4 wides, it made Harmison’s opening efforts from 4 years ago seem accurate, we are literally watching the fall of a once average cricketer!
01.16am: X-Doh is on and being shit at bowling, I’m not surprised as he is a shit bowler.
01.19am: After performances in this test, but especially today, I think that Clarke, Johnson and X-Doh could all struggle to make it for the 2nd test, not sure it will, but I would be very surprised if X-Doh ever wears the baggy green again.
Johnson is different because despite how shit he is being (and he is being really shit) Australia know he can do it at the highest level, as for Clarke, he is the heir apparent, the man groomed as Ponting’s successor, could they possibly drop him, for me, I think they should, but don’t think they will.
01.26am: X-Doh has just given 8 byes in 2 balls due to the cracks forming on the pitch, I still think we should bat right through to the end but would love to see Swanny have a go!
01.41am: The aussies are completely hapless, no chance of anything happening here, as much as I am enjoying watching the demoralisation of their bowling attack, this is turning into a moot day of cricket.
01.42am: Jonathan Trott passes 1000 test runs for the year of 2010, very impressive from the South African...Englishman!
01.53am: Cook brings up his double hundred, awesome work from out vice-captain!
01.56am: Turned the Xbox on ready for my ensuing FIFA battle at lunchtime, not making excuses but still got a banging headache!
01.59am: Trott gets to his century meaning all 3 all England’s top batmen have made it to 3 figures, only ever happened once before in the history of English cricket, once again I remind you this is Australia we are playing...in Australia!
02.00am: Lunch break, England are 439/1, that’s 439/1...one more time... four...hundred...and...thirty...nine...runs...for...one...wicket!!!
Here is the bit you are waiting for, my FIFA battle, today’s opponent is Krishan 7, I choose Man City (seem to enjoy playing as city) and he chooses Man Utd.
He is one of those really annoying players that you can’t get the ball from, and he makes the possession pay with a poachers effort from Nani, he takes possession back almost immediately and strolls through the defence and slots home to make it 2-0, I am really struggling here and go in at half-time 2-0 down.
I start the second half in the same vain and narrowly avoid conceding a third, things are looking grim and my unbeaten record looks like going, then a hopeful long ball finds Tevez and a sharp turn leaves him one on one with the keeper and he finishes, maybe a draw is possible, 4 minutes later I get a free-kick from around 30 yards, Tevez steps up and dispatches it nicely to square things up.
I have all the momentum now and a junking run from Tevez down the left side and a low cross finds Kolo Toure in the striker’s position and he slams the ball home, unbelievably I am now in the lead with only 10 minutes left, then Krishan 7 committed the cardinal sin of gaming...
....HE QUIT EARLY!!!
Now this is unforgivable, I send him the standard message...”You got owned, bitch!” but no reply, as it was so late in the game I am not sure whether the 3-2 result stands or as he quit a 3-0 score line should be awarded to me, I’ll take the 3-2 (only because it was late in the game)
Manchester City Vs Manchester Utd
3-2
Tevez 60’, 66’ Nani 17’
K Toure 80’ Berbatov 31’
02.44am: Play has resumed, not sure this should be added to the snack counter but got myself a pint of water, also taken two Nurofen for the headache.
02.55am: England reach 444/1, a quadruple nelson!
03.04am: Johnson sends a delivery 2 yards behind cook again for 4 wides, if I was more cynical I would suggest he is playing shit on purpose!
03.12am: Ponting claims a catch from Trott, goes to the 3rd umpire and is inconclusive so given not out, Ponting questions the decision...ooh I hope he gets a fine for dissent, that would be very special!
03.24am: I have just tweeted my 1979th tweet, only special because I was born in 1979, I dedicated it to this diary.
03.37am: England bring up the 500 because of another shite delivery from X-Doh, now 502/1.
03.47am: This is now the latest I have awake since the start of the ashes, is the reason because England have been awesome? Maybe I am just not tired? Maybe it’s because my head is still fucking killing me? Faye has told me to go back to the doctors tomorrow so that is what I will be doing.
Seeing as this is nearly over I may let myself drop off, nothing much more exciting will happen from here.
03.59am: ENGLAND HAVE DECLARED! I fucking told you, Strauss is so predictable, he should have just left Cook to stay out and get his triple century, realistically he could have gone on and got 350 odd, Trott would have made a double century also.
And...Australia could actually win from here, 40 overs and 297 the target, it’s unlikely buy theoretically they could do it.
04.23am: Very sleepy now so definitely the last entry, Australia now need something like 8.5 an over to win which simply isn’t going to happen, I will awaken to find Australia finished on 102/0 therefore making it (as I’ve repeatedly said) a pointless declaration!
11.01am: Awake, I have woken a few times this morning but kept dropping off so this is my official awake time, I was nearly right with my prediction, Australia finished on 107/1 with Ponting hitting 51 and Twatto getting 41.
The result of the first test is a draw meaning my ludicrously optimistic prediction of a 3-0 win for England is still on.
I have really enjoyed the test match though and am very much looking forward to the next one, which is also where I will pick my diary up from.
This test will be remembered for a few things, England’s failure with the bat 1stinnings, Hussey (who was lucky to be playing if you believe some reports) scoring 195, then England’s total dominance with the bat second innings which includes Cook’s magnificent 235 not out.
Bowling wise Finn taking 6 wickets in Australia’s 1st innings was very encouraging and of course Siddle’s hat trick was brilliant (even if he is a massive twat)
For me the most memorable thing (other than Cooky’s 235) will be Australia relying on players who simply aren’t good enough, X-Doh and Johnson will be very lucky to retain their places as Australia have already added Bollinger and Harris to the squad, Clarke won’t be dropped but seriously needs to remember how to play cricket or he will be a weakness that England will exploit every single innings.
All in all I am satisfied with the draw (remember Australia need to win outright as we currently hold the Ashes) and it is definitely advantage England heading into Adelaide on Thursday.
Which is where I will see you next.
Thanks.
Marcus.
Sleep total for 1st test – 28.5 hours (still quite respectable but remember bad head + painkillers)
Food total for 1st test – 2 Cheese, Ham and Tomato toasties, 2 Ham and tomato ketchup sandwiches,1 Chicken and Mushroom pot Noodle, 2 slices of bread and butter, 2 mallow chocs, 1 WS&V, 1 WC&O, 1 Steak kettle chips (150g), 1 Roysters, 1 crunch corner, Faye’s leftover Cantonese chicken, 4 pints of diet Pepsi, 1 pint of Beck Vier, 1 bottle of diet coke (200ml) and 1 pint of water.
FIFA record P5 W4 D1 L0 – F13 A5.
Sunday 28 November 2010
Ashes diary – Day 4
I never thought I would start any writing from anywhere with the lyrics to a song by Dinah Washington, but the lyrics really do work..come on, sing along..
“ What a difference a day makes – 24 little hours”
..what a difference indeed!
23.44pm: For those keeping up with the diary you will know I had a little accident yesterday and suffered a nasty bang on my head, turns out I am suffering with mild concussion and need to rest for a day or two, on the plus side (and this really is the only plus) It means I can watch the ashes from the start while my fiancé (Faye) has to keep an eye on the pub.
As always a snack update, sadly I’m still feeling a little sick from before so no snacks, just mainlining Nurofen instead..for now!
23.48pm: 1st ball of the day as apparently we need to make up 12 more minutes from day 2, whatever you want! Come on boys, 1st target is lunch, got to make lunch without losing a wicket.
23.59pm: I see Cook is trying to piss me off by making it easy for the aussies, fortunately he edges to the only gap in the slips and it goes for four, come on Cooky, concentrate!
00.01am: Bumble and Warne are having a discussion about being wheeled around Brisbane in a wheelchair...baffling!
00.03am: I’m enjoying the commentary but my head is killing me so considering watching it in silence, only a consideration though, probably won’t.
00.05am: Change of plan r.e. snacks, Faye is preparing me a chicken and mushroom pot noodle, two slices of bread and butter and a pint of diet Pepsi, yum.
00.23am: Pot noodle and bread and butter devoured, Pepsi is a third gone and I feel slightly better, head is still hurting and the noise emanating from downstairs is very loud, but the pub will close in 15 mins and the noise will subside, thank god for that!
England are looking good at 48/0.
00.29am: 50 partnership between Strauss and Cook, good work boys, also love that it came from a mistake by X-Doh, Sky Sports use a graphic to show the partnership and have headshots of both players, Cook looks like he is a) wearing guyliner, and b)cross eyed...it is freaking me the fuck out!
00.35am: An exchange on twitter has made me chuckle a lot, here are two explanations one for people who tweet and one for those who don’t:-
Tweeters: Some girl in Massachusetts has the name @theashes and that has prompted lots and lots and lots of tweeple to tag her in all cricket related tweets to which she is starting to meltdown about, then my mate Adam tweeted me and tagged her in it, with the hashtag #joininginthefun, I am fairly sure she is either going to kill herself or....I don’t have an or!!
Non-Tweeters: Some girl in Massachusetts has the name @theashes (this is your username so you can be individually recognised) and that has prompted lots and lots and lots of tweeple (twitter users) to tag her in all cricket related tweets (status updates) to which she is starting to meltdown about, then my mate Adam tweeted me (messaged me directly) and tagged her in it (included her name as well), with the hashtag (this like stating a topic the tweet is about) #joininginthefun, I am fairly sure she is either going to kill herself (death by her own hands) or....I don’t have an or!!
#idonttrustnontwitterusers
00.55am: I have dispatched with Sky’s commentary now and on the recommendation of my fellow Sportscast cohort George, I am now listening to the commentary provided by Test Match sofa, it’s very funny, informative and interactive, I actually got a shout out for this diary from them, I will include the live commentary link below, do it, do it now, and mention me if you do!
01.00am: After closing the pub Faye has gone out to meet her sister’s at the nightclub, I told her that she must, must, must pull out the sprinkler on the dance floor!
01.12am: That’s 50 for Captain Strauss, dare I say that England are almost enjoying this now, 45 mins till lunch, that’s the target for now.
01.28am: Decided that I am not going back to Sky’s commentary now, it’s TMSofa from now on.
01.33am: X-Doh has appeared, please spank him to all parts of the ground to make this stupid fucking experiment by Australia go away (anyone that quotes “2wickets in the 1st innings” please remember that Marcus North also took a wicket yesterday with his “right arm filth”)
01.36am: Mitchell Johnson drops a dolly from Strauss, I’m struggling to see what he does...Can’t bowl, can’t bat, can’t field and has a shit moustache, so please keep on selecting him!
01.38am: They show yet another replay of Johnson dropping Strauss and in the background you see the barmy army giving him a standing ovation..haha!
02.00am: Lunch break, England are 135/0 great effort from Strauss 79 not out and Cook 51 not out, now...FIFA time.
My opponent is El Poisono (I guess Spanish?) I play as Man City, he picks Real Madrid.
Two quick early goals from me, a good passing move ending with Adebayor slotting home and a great free-kick from Tevez makes it 2-0 at half-time, no more goals and it’s a comfortable, routine victory for me.
Manchester City Vs Real Madrid
2 – 0
Adebayor 9’
Tevez 20’
02.32am: This headache is not going anywhere despite more painkillers (if you are getting bored of the mentions of my head...tough, it fucking hurts!), however I actually feel quite awake so maybe for the first time I may make it to tea.
02.45am: Strauss is looking brilliant and is now 84 not out, he may very well make it to (should I say it? Might jinx it? Might make it happen? Fuck it, I’m going to say it) his century.
02.58am: Strauss again, but this time he is top edging over the slips to unattractively bring up England’s 150 and still to lose a wicket, great effort guys!
03.03am: An LBW shout against Strauss, the aussies only have 1 review left, please use it, it was never out, they choose not to, England are 157/0.
03.09am: Strauss gets to his century, a captains innings (ooh cliché).
03.16am: Think the painkillers are really kicking in now as I feel very drowsy, my target of making tea may not happen, if this is the last entry I just hope England make it to the end of the day without losing more than 3 wickets.
09.57am: Awake (Faye doesn't work on Sunday, hence the time), quick check on Sky Sports news and England finish on 309/1 which gives us a lead of 88, an amazing days cricket, Cook reached his century finishing the day on 132 not out (I have a feeling he hardly scored more than that for the entire Ashes 2009, I’ll check that and get back to you) and Trott came in with a very handy 57 not out.
We now have two options, bat hard and fast till lunch and set them a two session target of say 275 and make a game of it, or play safe and bat through till it is a draw, I like seeing a good game of cricket so would love to see the former, but long term a draw is a much better option, especially as we could easily have lost this test.
Did I mention that my head is hurting? Hope it feels better today.
Oh and I sent the link to this diary to Sky Sports Ashes anchor Simon Thomas (@skysports_simon) and here is his reply...
@MarcusjMitchell good stuff. Hope the head's a bit better and you get better luck with your FIFA opponents this time.
...what a thoroughly bloody nice chap.
See you tomorrow.
Marcus.
Sleep count for 1st test – 22 hours (quite respectable but remember bad head + painkillers)
Food count for 1st test – 2 Cheese, Ham and Tomato toasties, 2 Ham and tomato ketchup sandwiches, 1 Chicken and Mushroom pot Noodle, 2 slices of bread and butter, 2 mallow chocs, 1 WS&V, 1 WC&O, 1 Steak kettle chips (150g), 1 Roysters, 1 crunch corner, Faye’s leftover Cantonese chicken, 4 pints of diet Pepsi, 1 pint of Beck Vier and 1 bottle of diet coke (200ml).
FIFA record P4 W3 D1 L0 – F10 A3.
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“ What a difference a day makes – 24 little hours”
..what a difference indeed!
23.44pm: For those keeping up with the diary you will know I had a little accident yesterday and suffered a nasty bang on my head, turns out I am suffering with mild concussion and need to rest for a day or two, on the plus side (and this really is the only plus) It means I can watch the ashes from the start while my fiancé (Faye) has to keep an eye on the pub.
As always a snack update, sadly I’m still feeling a little sick from before so no snacks, just mainlining Nurofen instead..for now!
23.48pm: 1st ball of the day as apparently we need to make up 12 more minutes from day 2, whatever you want! Come on boys, 1st target is lunch, got to make lunch without losing a wicket.
23.59pm: I see Cook is trying to piss me off by making it easy for the aussies, fortunately he edges to the only gap in the slips and it goes for four, come on Cooky, concentrate!
00.01am: Bumble and Warne are having a discussion about being wheeled around Brisbane in a wheelchair...baffling!
00.03am: I’m enjoying the commentary but my head is killing me so considering watching it in silence, only a consideration though, probably won’t.
00.05am: Change of plan r.e. snacks, Faye is preparing me a chicken and mushroom pot noodle, two slices of bread and butter and a pint of diet Pepsi, yum.
00.23am: Pot noodle and bread and butter devoured, Pepsi is a third gone and I feel slightly better, head is still hurting and the noise emanating from downstairs is very loud, but the pub will close in 15 mins and the noise will subside, thank god for that!
England are looking good at 48/0.
00.29am: 50 partnership between Strauss and Cook, good work boys, also love that it came from a mistake by X-Doh, Sky Sports use a graphic to show the partnership and have headshots of both players, Cook looks like he is a) wearing guyliner, and b)cross eyed...it is freaking me the fuck out!
00.35am: An exchange on twitter has made me chuckle a lot, here are two explanations one for people who tweet and one for those who don’t:-
Tweeters: Some girl in Massachusetts has the name @theashes and that has prompted lots and lots and lots of tweeple to tag her in all cricket related tweets to which she is starting to meltdown about, then my mate Adam tweeted me and tagged her in it, with the hashtag #joininginthefun, I am fairly sure she is either going to kill herself or....I don’t have an or!!
Non-Tweeters: Some girl in Massachusetts has the name @theashes (this is your username so you can be individually recognised) and that has prompted lots and lots and lots of tweeple (twitter users) to tag her in all cricket related tweets (status updates) to which she is starting to meltdown about, then my mate Adam tweeted me (messaged me directly) and tagged her in it (included her name as well), with the hashtag (this like stating a topic the tweet is about) #joininginthefun, I am fairly sure she is either going to kill herself (death by her own hands) or....I don’t have an or!!
#idonttrustnontwitterusers
00.55am: I have dispatched with Sky’s commentary now and on the recommendation of my fellow Sportscast cohort George, I am now listening to the commentary provided by Test Match sofa, it’s very funny, informative and interactive, I actually got a shout out for this diary from them, I will include the live commentary link below, do it, do it now, and mention me if you do!
01.00am: After closing the pub Faye has gone out to meet her sister’s at the nightclub, I told her that she must, must, must pull out the sprinkler on the dance floor!
01.12am: That’s 50 for Captain Strauss, dare I say that England are almost enjoying this now, 45 mins till lunch, that’s the target for now.
01.28am: Decided that I am not going back to Sky’s commentary now, it’s TMSofa from now on.
01.33am: X-Doh has appeared, please spank him to all parts of the ground to make this stupid fucking experiment by Australia go away (anyone that quotes “2wickets in the 1st innings” please remember that Marcus North also took a wicket yesterday with his “right arm filth”)
01.36am: Mitchell Johnson drops a dolly from Strauss, I’m struggling to see what he does...Can’t bowl, can’t bat, can’t field and has a shit moustache, so please keep on selecting him!
01.38am: They show yet another replay of Johnson dropping Strauss and in the background you see the barmy army giving him a standing ovation..haha!
02.00am: Lunch break, England are 135/0 great effort from Strauss 79 not out and Cook 51 not out, now...FIFA time.
My opponent is El Poisono (I guess Spanish?) I play as Man City, he picks Real Madrid.
Two quick early goals from me, a good passing move ending with Adebayor slotting home and a great free-kick from Tevez makes it 2-0 at half-time, no more goals and it’s a comfortable, routine victory for me.
Manchester City Vs Real Madrid
2 – 0
Adebayor 9’
Tevez 20’
02.32am: This headache is not going anywhere despite more painkillers (if you are getting bored of the mentions of my head...tough, it fucking hurts!), however I actually feel quite awake so maybe for the first time I may make it to tea.
02.45am: Strauss is looking brilliant and is now 84 not out, he may very well make it to (should I say it? Might jinx it? Might make it happen? Fuck it, I’m going to say it) his century.
02.58am: Strauss again, but this time he is top edging over the slips to unattractively bring up England’s 150 and still to lose a wicket, great effort guys!
03.03am: An LBW shout against Strauss, the aussies only have 1 review left, please use it, it was never out, they choose not to, England are 157/0.
03.09am: Strauss gets to his century, a captains innings (ooh cliché).
03.16am: Think the painkillers are really kicking in now as I feel very drowsy, my target of making tea may not happen, if this is the last entry I just hope England make it to the end of the day without losing more than 3 wickets.
09.57am: Awake (Faye doesn't work on Sunday, hence the time), quick check on Sky Sports news and England finish on 309/1 which gives us a lead of 88, an amazing days cricket, Cook reached his century finishing the day on 132 not out (I have a feeling he hardly scored more than that for the entire Ashes 2009, I’ll check that and get back to you) and Trott came in with a very handy 57 not out.
We now have two options, bat hard and fast till lunch and set them a two session target of say 275 and make a game of it, or play safe and bat through till it is a draw, I like seeing a good game of cricket so would love to see the former, but long term a draw is a much better option, especially as we could easily have lost this test.
Did I mention that my head is hurting? Hope it feels better today.
Oh and I sent the link to this diary to Sky Sports Ashes anchor Simon Thomas (@skysports_simon) and here is his reply...
@MarcusjMitchell good stuff. Hope the head's a bit better and you get better luck with your FIFA opponents this time.
...what a thoroughly bloody nice chap.
See you tomorrow.
Marcus.
Sleep count for 1st test – 22 hours (quite respectable but remember bad head + painkillers)
Food count for 1st test – 2 Cheese, Ham and Tomato toasties, 2 Ham and tomato ketchup sandwiches, 1 Chicken and Mushroom pot Noodle, 2 slices of bread and butter, 2 mallow chocs, 1 WS&V, 1 WC&O, 1 Steak kettle chips (150g), 1 Roysters, 1 crunch corner, Faye’s leftover Cantonese chicken, 4 pints of diet Pepsi, 1 pint of Beck Vier and 1 bottle of diet coke (200ml).
FIFA record P4 W3 D1 L0 – F10 A3.
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Saturday 27 November 2010
Ashes diary – Day 3
It’s 8.27am as I start writing this, I am very tired but need to be up ready for 9.00 to get some beer in (to sell, not to drink!) the reason as to why I have no beer in my pub is also the reason I didn’t start watching until late, we had Catfish and the Bottlemen playing last night, don’t be fooled by the name, these guys have some serious game, they also have a serious following, which of course meant my pub was absolutely hammered last night, hence the lack of beer!
Two things have just caught my eye...
1. An advert for the new Hyundai IX20, at the end they park the car on the top of a multi story car park and leave it crookedly across about 4 bays, nothing pisses me off more than some twat parking inconsiderately and here are Hyundai actively promoting it...dicks!
2. On Sky Sports news they have just been talking about the horse racing meeting at Wolverhampton that had to be abandoned because of the snow...Wolverhampton is an all weather track. Surely they need to come up with a new name, as clearly it is not all weather, maybe call it most weather track, or track that is fine unless it's raining, snowing, hailstones or the wind is blowing from a south easterly direction!
01.14am: So just made it upstairs and turned the TV on, it appears that my message to Mr Strauss didn’t get through....I’m fairly sure that I asked him to have the aussies all out by this time, not sure why that wasn’t done.
I had a couple of pints tonight while the band were playing so that has already made me feel a little more tired than I wanted but we’ll see how long I can last.
As always my snack situation – 2 Ham and tomato ketchup sandwiches, 1 bag of cheese and onion crisps, 1 bag of Roysters steak crisps (amazing if you’ve never tried them) and a small bottle of diet Coke, Faye had a Chinese for dinner and there is leftover crispy Chicken Cantonese style should I get peckish later (although with that amount of food, it’s unlikely...)
Oh and for the record, Australia are 290/5 having not lost a wicket in the first hour and three quarters, although I find out that Hussey was caught plum LBW by Anderson but England have used all their reviews up, good work ICC, come up with a system to stop umpires dropping massive clangers and then use a contradicting system to prevent the teams from using it!!
01.20am: Michael Hussey is gesticulating wildly towards the crowd above the sight screen, turns out they were committing the heinous crime of...standing up!
01.24am: Colly has a bowl..why not? the others have bowled well but can’t make a breakthrough, maybe a change of pace might work....AHHHHHHH, first ball, Haddin sticks it skywards and just out of Cook’s reach, it was a difficult chance but not to coin a phrase...catches win matches (alright, I coined a phrase!)
01.38am: The camera pans to the aussie bench and Watson seems to be either stretching his bicep or warming up for a lunchtime wank, seeing as he is definitely a massive wanker, I’ll go with the latter!
01.41am: They are now showing the 94th slow-mo replay of Cook just getting his fingertips to that catch before, seriously, it was a difficult chance!
01.48am: Bumble proves why he is a cricket genius, England ask for the ball to be changed as it is becoming misshapen (really, any excuse to try and mix this up, Australia are running away with it) Bumble says “They normally have a ring that if the ball passes through then It’s ok to carry on, I expect he has on in his pocket” 5 seconds later umpire Billy Doctrove pulls said ring out of his pocket... Bumble, we are not worthy!
01.52am: So FIFA time in 10 mins, just psyching myself up ready for the upcoming battle, while I’m psyching myself up Hussey gets a top edge but it sails over the slips and goes for 4 runs, lucky bastard.
01.54am: Jimmy is starting to get pissed off now, yet Hussey still finds another gap in the field and Australia are now 327/5, I polish of the Cantonese chicken that Faye left behind, delicious.
02.01am: Lunch, Australia are 329/5 and have dominated this session, all the bowlers put in a good shift (except Swanny who is struggling a little) so just need the luck to go with the endeavour.
FIFA time, I’m paired with someone called SuperSkope, I choose to play as Chelsea while he opts for AC Milan, I start very well and am in the lead after 5 mins, Drogba gets a lucky rebound and slots it in the corner, but Milan hit back almost immediately with a looping header from Pato 1-1, the 2nd half starts and I am very quickly back in the lead with Drogba again, a lovely low cross from Malouda and a comfortable finish.
I dominate the game but cannot put it out of reach and pay the price when a hopeful punt up field finds its way to Ibrahimovic and he tucks it away for a late equalizer, it finishes 2-2, the options of what to do next are, play extra time, extra time plus pens or finish as a draw, 99% of people select extra time and pens...except for this girly twat, he ends it as a draw and vanishes.
I naturally send him a message suggesting he has an inappropriate relationship with his mother but alas, the result stands thus ending my 100% record.
Chelsea Vs AC Milan
2 – 2
Drogba 5’ & 48’ - Pato 11’, Ibrahimovic 86’
02.30am: Despite the exciting game of FIFA I am seriously tired now, coupled with Australia playing so well I think that unless we take a wicket before 3am I may just settle down a get some sleep.
08.01am: Awake, I turn Sky Sports news on to find Australia amassed a total of 481, so that pretty much puts paid to England winning the first test, now we have to bat all day at least to give us a chance of the draw, Finn took 6/125 on his ashes debut, scant consolation but hope for the next test (unless you are Chris Tremlett, guaranteed to be sat on the bench for 4 more tests!)
I apologise for posting this late but have just returned from casualty after banging my head on a low doorway very, very hard, no lasting damage (I hope) but I have a crazy headache and a sore neck so I plan to rest up and see if there is any chance I will make it to the start of play, let alone my half-time FIFA battle.
See you tomorrow.
Marcus.
Sleep count for 1st test – 15 hours.
Food count for 1st test – 2 Cheese, Ham and Tomato toasties, 2 Ham and tomato ketchup sandwiches, 2 mallow chocs, 1 WS&V, 1 WC&O, 1 Steak kettle chips (150g), 1 Roysters, 1 crunch corner, Faye’s leftover Cantonese chicken, 3 pints of diet Pepsi, 1 pint of Beck Vier and 1 bottle of diet coke (200ml).
FIFA record P3 W2 D1 L0 – F8 A3.
Two things have just caught my eye...
1. An advert for the new Hyundai IX20, at the end they park the car on the top of a multi story car park and leave it crookedly across about 4 bays, nothing pisses me off more than some twat parking inconsiderately and here are Hyundai actively promoting it...dicks!
2. On Sky Sports news they have just been talking about the horse racing meeting at Wolverhampton that had to be abandoned because of the snow...Wolverhampton is an all weather track. Surely they need to come up with a new name, as clearly it is not all weather, maybe call it most weather track, or track that is fine unless it's raining, snowing, hailstones or the wind is blowing from a south easterly direction!
01.14am: So just made it upstairs and turned the TV on, it appears that my message to Mr Strauss didn’t get through....I’m fairly sure that I asked him to have the aussies all out by this time, not sure why that wasn’t done.
I had a couple of pints tonight while the band were playing so that has already made me feel a little more tired than I wanted but we’ll see how long I can last.
As always my snack situation – 2 Ham and tomato ketchup sandwiches, 1 bag of cheese and onion crisps, 1 bag of Roysters steak crisps (amazing if you’ve never tried them) and a small bottle of diet Coke, Faye had a Chinese for dinner and there is leftover crispy Chicken Cantonese style should I get peckish later (although with that amount of food, it’s unlikely...)
Oh and for the record, Australia are 290/5 having not lost a wicket in the first hour and three quarters, although I find out that Hussey was caught plum LBW by Anderson but England have used all their reviews up, good work ICC, come up with a system to stop umpires dropping massive clangers and then use a contradicting system to prevent the teams from using it!!
01.20am: Michael Hussey is gesticulating wildly towards the crowd above the sight screen, turns out they were committing the heinous crime of...standing up!
01.24am: Colly has a bowl..why not? the others have bowled well but can’t make a breakthrough, maybe a change of pace might work....AHHHHHHH, first ball, Haddin sticks it skywards and just out of Cook’s reach, it was a difficult chance but not to coin a phrase...catches win matches (alright, I coined a phrase!)
01.38am: The camera pans to the aussie bench and Watson seems to be either stretching his bicep or warming up for a lunchtime wank, seeing as he is definitely a massive wanker, I’ll go with the latter!
01.41am: They are now showing the 94th slow-mo replay of Cook just getting his fingertips to that catch before, seriously, it was a difficult chance!
01.48am: Bumble proves why he is a cricket genius, England ask for the ball to be changed as it is becoming misshapen (really, any excuse to try and mix this up, Australia are running away with it) Bumble says “They normally have a ring that if the ball passes through then It’s ok to carry on, I expect he has on in his pocket” 5 seconds later umpire Billy Doctrove pulls said ring out of his pocket... Bumble, we are not worthy!
01.52am: So FIFA time in 10 mins, just psyching myself up ready for the upcoming battle, while I’m psyching myself up Hussey gets a top edge but it sails over the slips and goes for 4 runs, lucky bastard.
01.54am: Jimmy is starting to get pissed off now, yet Hussey still finds another gap in the field and Australia are now 327/5, I polish of the Cantonese chicken that Faye left behind, delicious.
02.01am: Lunch, Australia are 329/5 and have dominated this session, all the bowlers put in a good shift (except Swanny who is struggling a little) so just need the luck to go with the endeavour.
FIFA time, I’m paired with someone called SuperSkope, I choose to play as Chelsea while he opts for AC Milan, I start very well and am in the lead after 5 mins, Drogba gets a lucky rebound and slots it in the corner, but Milan hit back almost immediately with a looping header from Pato 1-1, the 2nd half starts and I am very quickly back in the lead with Drogba again, a lovely low cross from Malouda and a comfortable finish.
I dominate the game but cannot put it out of reach and pay the price when a hopeful punt up field finds its way to Ibrahimovic and he tucks it away for a late equalizer, it finishes 2-2, the options of what to do next are, play extra time, extra time plus pens or finish as a draw, 99% of people select extra time and pens...except for this girly twat, he ends it as a draw and vanishes.
I naturally send him a message suggesting he has an inappropriate relationship with his mother but alas, the result stands thus ending my 100% record.
Chelsea Vs AC Milan
2 – 2
Drogba 5’ & 48’ - Pato 11’, Ibrahimovic 86’
02.30am: Despite the exciting game of FIFA I am seriously tired now, coupled with Australia playing so well I think that unless we take a wicket before 3am I may just settle down a get some sleep.
08.01am: Awake, I turn Sky Sports news on to find Australia amassed a total of 481, so that pretty much puts paid to England winning the first test, now we have to bat all day at least to give us a chance of the draw, Finn took 6/125 on his ashes debut, scant consolation but hope for the next test (unless you are Chris Tremlett, guaranteed to be sat on the bench for 4 more tests!)
I apologise for posting this late but have just returned from casualty after banging my head on a low doorway very, very hard, no lasting damage (I hope) but I have a crazy headache and a sore neck so I plan to rest up and see if there is any chance I will make it to the start of play, let alone my half-time FIFA battle.
See you tomorrow.
Marcus.
Sleep count for 1st test – 15 hours.
Food count for 1st test – 2 Cheese, Ham and Tomato toasties, 2 Ham and tomato ketchup sandwiches, 2 mallow chocs, 1 WS&V, 1 WC&O, 1 Steak kettle chips (150g), 1 Roysters, 1 crunch corner, Faye’s leftover Cantonese chicken, 3 pints of diet Pepsi, 1 pint of Beck Vier and 1 bottle of diet coke (200ml).
FIFA record P3 W2 D1 L0 – F8 A3.
Friday 26 November 2010
Ashes diary – Day 2
I had a good response to day 1 from friends, randoms and even some journalists which is encouraging so I shall continue, as I write this (09.03am) I am watching highlights from last night, it is 7pm in Brisbane and still a balmy 20 degrees, in Llandudno it is.....snowing, a lot!!
Trust me though, I would much rather be here in the fucking arctic circle of N. Wales than down under in a place that has 320 days of sunshine per year, much, much happier here!
I wrote yesterdays diary retrospectively and used a text commentary to get the times right, however today I made notes so as to be more accurate and am posting it much earlier, If there is anything I need to add I will do so afterwards.
01.25am: For those who don’t know anything about me or the pub, Thursday night is Open Mic night and is a very, very popular night and proved so once again, after finally getting rid of all the piss-heads and closing down I set myself up ready to watch the cricket.
You know the set-up now so here is a snack update, I have made myself 2 (yep, 2!) cheese, ham and tomato toasties with extra strong cheddar, I also have a pint of diet Pepsi, 2 mallow chocolates and a pack of WS&V, now this might seem like a lot of food.....it is!
England have failed to make any sort of breakthrough, Katich and Watson are looking reasonably comfortable and the Aussies are 78/0.
01.26am: Seems I picked a good time to start watching as there is a review straight away, Watson LBW, it is not out and England ask for a review, the Australian TV network covering the Ashes are not using hawkeye but something called virtualeye, as far as anyone can see it is the same and it shows the ball sliding down leg side, so not out.
01.28am: It appears Anderson’s ploy to upset Watson has worked as he edges a straight one right down the throat of 1st slip Andy Strauss. OUT, 78/1.
01.32am: Just to show how much attention I pay sometimes, I have only just noticed in the bottom left hand corner of the screen (assuming you are watching Sky Sports) it tells you who is facing who, as in batsman Vs bowler, nice touch!
01.47am: Man, staring to feel tired already, it has been a really busy night and coupled with a lack of sleep from the night before, I need to perk myself up!
01.49am: Oh yeah, good point, FM11 update (not played it much tonight), well, I have played 24 this season W12, D5 and L7, currently in 5th place and a whopping 6 points behind....Spurs, who are top, need to go on a bit of a run and a Champions League place is surely within my grasp, also need to sort my front line out, my four strikers are Torres, Aguero, Luis Fabiano and
David N’Gog (don’t be fooled, N’Gog comes good in 2nd season)
Also I was just thinking, I’m glad Stuart Broad doesn’t have floppy hair anymore, don’t get me wrong I had long hair when I was younger, but I didn’t need to pull it back behind my ears between EVERY FUCKING DELIVERY while live on Sky Sports, good lad!
01.52am: Just mentally preparing myself for my upcoming FIFA battle at the lunch break, all the food has now been devoured and I have half a diet Pepsi left.
01.58am: Finally Swanny comes in for an over and his first delivery has lots of turn, encouraging but I can’t help but feel he should have come on earlier.
02.02am: Lunch break, Australia are 96/1.
02.03am: FIFA time, I come up against TerrorTimpski, he chooses Inter Milan and I opt for Man Utd, slow start to the game and nothing really happens in the first half and we go in to the break 0-0.
After half time it is a different story, I race out of the blocks and score a delightful header after 47mins with Rooney after a cross from Nani, we had barely restarted when a through ball from Rooney finds Berbatov one on one with the keeper and calmly slides it past for 2-0 after 51 mins.
Now Inter start to come back and they score through Sneijder with a long range effort after 58 mins and its game on, however my defence proves too strong and I hold on for a deserved victory.
Manchester Utd Vs Internazionale
2 – 1
Rooney 47’ Sneijder 58’
Berbatov 51’
He wanted a rematch but there wouldn’t have been time before play resumed so maybe next time, loser!
By the way, if anyone thinks they are man enough to take me on at lunch tomorrow, my gamertag on Xbox live is Fredi Fudpukka and I'll be waiting at 02.00am for anybody who thinks they are hard enough (not sure if that sounded perverted but I'm going with it anyway!)
02.42am: I have barely taken my seat after a pit stop when Ponting tickles on leg side straight to Prior and he is OUT! I feel a second wind and set myself a target of making it to tea at least, 96/2.
02.50am: Katich gets his 50, what an annoying bastard, how do you get him out?
02.55am: Ahhh, that’s how you get him out, caught and bowled by Finn, great work by 6’7” Finn to dive so low, so quick to catch that, can’t imagine Crouch (same height) would have looked quite so graceful!!
03.01am: This has been bothering me for a while, Steven Finn reminds me of someone and I have just figured it out, he looks like Dr Caroline Todd from Green Wing (which, in case you never watched it, is fucking brilliant)
Trust me though, I would much rather be here in the fucking arctic circle of N. Wales than down under in a place that has 320 days of sunshine per year, much, much happier here!
I wrote yesterdays diary retrospectively and used a text commentary to get the times right, however today I made notes so as to be more accurate and am posting it much earlier, If there is anything I need to add I will do so afterwards.
01.25am: For those who don’t know anything about me or the pub, Thursday night is Open Mic night and is a very, very popular night and proved so once again, after finally getting rid of all the piss-heads and closing down I set myself up ready to watch the cricket.
You know the set-up now so here is a snack update, I have made myself 2 (yep, 2!) cheese, ham and tomato toasties with extra strong cheddar, I also have a pint of diet Pepsi, 2 mallow chocolates and a pack of WS&V, now this might seem like a lot of food.....it is!
England have failed to make any sort of breakthrough, Katich and Watson are looking reasonably comfortable and the Aussies are 78/0.
01.26am: Seems I picked a good time to start watching as there is a review straight away, Watson LBW, it is not out and England ask for a review, the Australian TV network covering the Ashes are not using hawkeye but something called virtualeye, as far as anyone can see it is the same and it shows the ball sliding down leg side, so not out.
01.28am: It appears Anderson’s ploy to upset Watson has worked as he edges a straight one right down the throat of 1st slip Andy Strauss. OUT, 78/1.
01.32am: Just to show how much attention I pay sometimes, I have only just noticed in the bottom left hand corner of the screen (assuming you are watching Sky Sports) it tells you who is facing who, as in batsman Vs bowler, nice touch!
01.47am: Man, staring to feel tired already, it has been a really busy night and coupled with a lack of sleep from the night before, I need to perk myself up!
01.49am: Oh yeah, good point, FM11 update (not played it much tonight), well, I have played 24 this season W12, D5 and L7, currently in 5th place and a whopping 6 points behind....Spurs, who are top, need to go on a bit of a run and a Champions League place is surely within my grasp, also need to sort my front line out, my four strikers are Torres, Aguero, Luis Fabiano and
David N’Gog (don’t be fooled, N’Gog comes good in 2nd season)
Also I was just thinking, I’m glad Stuart Broad doesn’t have floppy hair anymore, don’t get me wrong I had long hair when I was younger, but I didn’t need to pull it back behind my ears between EVERY FUCKING DELIVERY while live on Sky Sports, good lad!
01.52am: Just mentally preparing myself for my upcoming FIFA battle at the lunch break, all the food has now been devoured and I have half a diet Pepsi left.
01.58am: Finally Swanny comes in for an over and his first delivery has lots of turn, encouraging but I can’t help but feel he should have come on earlier.
02.02am: Lunch break, Australia are 96/1.
02.03am: FIFA time, I come up against TerrorTimpski, he chooses Inter Milan and I opt for Man Utd, slow start to the game and nothing really happens in the first half and we go in to the break 0-0.
After half time it is a different story, I race out of the blocks and score a delightful header after 47mins with Rooney after a cross from Nani, we had barely restarted when a through ball from Rooney finds Berbatov one on one with the keeper and calmly slides it past for 2-0 after 51 mins.
Now Inter start to come back and they score through Sneijder with a long range effort after 58 mins and its game on, however my defence proves too strong and I hold on for a deserved victory.
Manchester Utd Vs Internazionale
2 – 1
Rooney 47’ Sneijder 58’
Berbatov 51’
He wanted a rematch but there wouldn’t have been time before play resumed so maybe next time, loser!
By the way, if anyone thinks they are man enough to take me on at lunch tomorrow, my gamertag on Xbox live is Fredi Fudpukka and I'll be waiting at 02.00am for anybody who thinks they are hard enough (not sure if that sounded perverted but I'm going with it anyway!)
02.42am: I have barely taken my seat after a pit stop when Ponting tickles on leg side straight to Prior and he is OUT! I feel a second wind and set myself a target of making it to tea at least, 96/2.
02.50am: Katich gets his 50, what an annoying bastard, how do you get him out?
02.55am: Ahhh, that’s how you get him out, caught and bowled by Finn, great work by 6’7” Finn to dive so low, so quick to catch that, can’t imagine Crouch (same height) would have looked quite so graceful!!
03.01am: This has been bothering me for a while, Steven Finn reminds me of someone and I have just figured it out, he looks like Dr Caroline Todd from Green Wing (which, in case you never watched it, is fucking brilliant)
Hmmm you decide??
03.08am: Finn (and pretty much everyone else) think that Clarke has been caught behind, umpire says no and Strauss immediately reviews it, nothing on slow-mo or on hot-spot and it is turned down.
Snicko is not being used for reviews but Sky Sports has it in use anyway, and it shows that the ball did feather the inside edge, hope that doesn’t come back to haunt us.
03.20am: UH...OH!! really starting to flag now, don’t know how much longer I’m going to be able to stay awake!
08.12am: Awake, check the score and England only took 2 more wickets and the aussies finish on 220/5, with Mr Cricket (FYI... shite nickname) on 81 not out, although from what I have seen it seems that the umpires are definitely in collusion with the aussies as we could easily have had another 45 mins play, Jimmy, Broad and Finny would have torn through that tail, but hey ho.
Seeing as I have been writing this and not getting anymore sleep I will no doubt be fucking knackered for tonight when we have one of the biggest bands in town playing and we will be very busy, also means I will yet again miss the first hour or so.
So, Mr Strauss (I know you are reading this) I require the boys to finish off the aussies for under 300 and you and Cooky to put around 50 on ready for when I come upstairs and settle down for day 3.
Oh and in case you wondered, it’s still very bastard cold.
See you tomorrow.
Marcus.
Sleep count for 1st Test - 10 hours.
Food count for 1st Test - 2 Cheese, Ham and Tomato toasties, 2 mallow chocs, 1 WS&V, 1 Steak kettle chips (150g) 3 pints of diet Pepsi and 1 pint of Becks Vier.
FIFA record for 1st Test - P2 W2 D0 L0 - F6 A1.
Thursday 25 November 2010
Ashes diary – Day 1
So I thought it might be fun to do an Ashes diary, but from my perspective (bearing in mind I am a pub landlord, so staying up watching cricket all night is definitely not helping with my 200 hour working week!) as there are numerous diaries being kept by players and journalist alike who are currently enjoying 30 degree heat in Brisbane, while I am in Llandudno where it is a cool 2 degrees!
I will try to be informative about my goings on, my reactions to the events unfolding at the Ashes, my eating habits and how long I actually manage to stay awake before succumbing to the sandman and some well deserved shut eye.
Firstly let me set the scene (so you know from what situation I will be watching the Ashes) I have a 50” TV (not showing off, just setting the scene), Sky HD for crisper viewing pleasure, I have my laptop open in front of me with tweetdeck on the screen and Football Manager 2011 minimised ready to be played at anytime (I’m playing as LFC (of course) and am in my 2nd season, played 22, on 40 points in 4th place only 4 points off Chelsea in 1st, thanks for asking) I also have an uber-large bag of steak flavour kettle chips and a pint of diet Pepsi (not a fan of sugar in drinks)
Nov 24th
11.50pm: I lock the front doors of the pub having sent Watty home before we both missed the first ball, I prepare the snacks and drinks and take my seat, all the anticipation, the talk and the build up was finally over, I put a war-cry on twitter in case Swanny is checking his tweets.
Nov 25th
00.01am: The first ball of the ashes is delivered by Hilfenhaus and well left by Strauss, I put a jokey tweet referring to Steve Harmison’s first delivery four years ago going straight to second slip and chuckle to myself!
00.02am: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!! Strauss edges the 3rd ball of the match straight into Michael Hussey’s hands....Brilliant, England are 0/1, I smell a sense of familiarity about this but remain confident.
00.45am: Finished my pint of diet Pepsi, wondering if I can be arsed to go get another, I can, and do. Starting to feel a little tired now so go and open a window and let some cool air in (as recommended on The Ashes Sportscast special featuring me, and George) Cook and Trott were in and we are 28/1, it was jittery at times but at least we haven’t lost another wicket.
01.15am: Trott plays and misses a straight one from Watson and is clean bowled, it becomes 41/2, amateurish batting from Trott, I’ll put it down to nerves and hope he comes back stronger, meanwhile KP enters the fold to a massive roar from the barmy army, hope his form is better than his moustache!
01.40am: Finally Xavier Doherty (X-Doh from now on) comes in to face KP, the aussies only picked him for this reason so it had better work, because other than KP’s frailty against left arm spin there simply isn’t another reason for X-Doh to play, he is at best a mediocre cricketer with both a poor bowling and batting average in first class cricket.
01.55am: X-Doh bowling at KP, KP sends the ball straight back at X-Doh and he shies to throw the ball back, no reaction from KP, next delivery X-Doh does launch the ball back towards KP, misses and almost overthrows for 4, the crowd enjoy it but KP just grins straight at X-Doh, what a plum!
02.00am: LUNCH and England are 86/2 after X-Doh dropped a dolly from Cook, I contemplate a bacon and cheese sandwich but really can’t be bothered, instead I have a game of FIFA 11 online, I play as Man City vs. Real Madrid (jwills86 – his gamertag) I take the lead after 4 mins with a cheeky little side foot from Adebayor (Mancini might not rate him but on FIFA I love him) Real equalise with a lucky rebound before I turn the style on and win 4-1 (Adebayor 4, 24 & 70, Milner 38) I celebrate with some crisps!
02.40am: Play gets underway for the second session, I am now officially getting tired, so I pause it and go for a quick walk to liven myself up for 10 mins I return and skim through to catch up and find a text that has been sent to the BBC website...
Jack: "Doherty’s inclusion is like playing Rory Delap in every game of the World Cup finals because a keeper 'apparently' has trouble with long throws. KP should be fine. (Prays I haven’t jinxed him)."
...couldn’t agree more!
03.30am: KP is out to Siddle driving the wrong line and edged, England are 117/3 and to be honest, struggling. This is also the last real memory of live cricket I have.
07.45am: I wake up as Faye comes through to the lounge to get ready for work and I put Sky Sports news on, Siddle (who my brother Rob once said has a face you wouldn’t get tired of punching) got himself a hat –trick and finished with 6/54 (proving my brother right!) England all out for a below par 260.
So after watching brief highlights of what I missed I then watched Champions League highlights from last night and promptly have another 90 mins sleep before getting the pub ready for opening.
Turns out I could have stayed asleep because at 2.00pm I still hadn’t had one customer in...Fucking typical.
See you tomorrow.
Marcus.
I will try to be informative about my goings on, my reactions to the events unfolding at the Ashes, my eating habits and how long I actually manage to stay awake before succumbing to the sandman and some well deserved shut eye.
Firstly let me set the scene (so you know from what situation I will be watching the Ashes) I have a 50” TV (not showing off, just setting the scene), Sky HD for crisper viewing pleasure, I have my laptop open in front of me with tweetdeck on the screen and Football Manager 2011 minimised ready to be played at anytime (I’m playing as LFC (of course) and am in my 2nd season, played 22, on 40 points in 4th place only 4 points off Chelsea in 1st, thanks for asking) I also have an uber-large bag of steak flavour kettle chips and a pint of diet Pepsi (not a fan of sugar in drinks)
Nov 24th
11.50pm: I lock the front doors of the pub having sent Watty home before we both missed the first ball, I prepare the snacks and drinks and take my seat, all the anticipation, the talk and the build up was finally over, I put a war-cry on twitter in case Swanny is checking his tweets.
Nov 25th
00.01am: The first ball of the ashes is delivered by Hilfenhaus and well left by Strauss, I put a jokey tweet referring to Steve Harmison’s first delivery four years ago going straight to second slip and chuckle to myself!
00.02am: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!! Strauss edges the 3rd ball of the match straight into Michael Hussey’s hands....Brilliant, England are 0/1, I smell a sense of familiarity about this but remain confident.
00.45am: Finished my pint of diet Pepsi, wondering if I can be arsed to go get another, I can, and do. Starting to feel a little tired now so go and open a window and let some cool air in (as recommended on The Ashes Sportscast special featuring me, and George) Cook and Trott were in and we are 28/1, it was jittery at times but at least we haven’t lost another wicket.
01.15am: Trott plays and misses a straight one from Watson and is clean bowled, it becomes 41/2, amateurish batting from Trott, I’ll put it down to nerves and hope he comes back stronger, meanwhile KP enters the fold to a massive roar from the barmy army, hope his form is better than his moustache!
01.40am: Finally Xavier Doherty (X-Doh from now on) comes in to face KP, the aussies only picked him for this reason so it had better work, because other than KP’s frailty against left arm spin there simply isn’t another reason for X-Doh to play, he is at best a mediocre cricketer with both a poor bowling and batting average in first class cricket.
01.55am: X-Doh bowling at KP, KP sends the ball straight back at X-Doh and he shies to throw the ball back, no reaction from KP, next delivery X-Doh does launch the ball back towards KP, misses and almost overthrows for 4, the crowd enjoy it but KP just grins straight at X-Doh, what a plum!
02.00am: LUNCH and England are 86/2 after X-Doh dropped a dolly from Cook, I contemplate a bacon and cheese sandwich but really can’t be bothered, instead I have a game of FIFA 11 online, I play as Man City vs. Real Madrid (jwills86 – his gamertag) I take the lead after 4 mins with a cheeky little side foot from Adebayor (Mancini might not rate him but on FIFA I love him) Real equalise with a lucky rebound before I turn the style on and win 4-1 (Adebayor 4, 24 & 70, Milner 38) I celebrate with some crisps!
02.40am: Play gets underway for the second session, I am now officially getting tired, so I pause it and go for a quick walk to liven myself up for 10 mins I return and skim through to catch up and find a text that has been sent to the BBC website...
Jack: "Doherty’s inclusion is like playing Rory Delap in every game of the World Cup finals because a keeper 'apparently' has trouble with long throws. KP should be fine. (Prays I haven’t jinxed him)."
...couldn’t agree more!
03.30am: KP is out to Siddle driving the wrong line and edged, England are 117/3 and to be honest, struggling. This is also the last real memory of live cricket I have.
07.45am: I wake up as Faye comes through to the lounge to get ready for work and I put Sky Sports news on, Siddle (who my brother Rob once said has a face you wouldn’t get tired of punching) got himself a hat –trick and finished with 6/54 (proving my brother right!) England all out for a below par 260.
So after watching brief highlights of what I missed I then watched Champions League highlights from last night and promptly have another 90 mins sleep before getting the pub ready for opening.
Turns out I could have stayed asleep because at 2.00pm I still hadn’t had one customer in...Fucking typical.
See you tomorrow.
Marcus.
Thursday 4 November 2010
Live a little, then tell me!!
Have I ever mentioned how time consuming running a pub is? It has been months since my last blog and for this I apologise, so....whats been happening while I've been away?
Well, Liverpool is not something I am going to talk about, if you would like to hear my thoughts on this matter then you can listen to The Sportscast, that's right, George and I from the Podcast Four have started our own sportscast and here is our logo. 
Regarding the Podcast, I have finally been promoted to full member, well Dom just changed my name from the special guest list to the cast list, so I am actively looking for a pay rise or at least some expenses!
Next up is the pub, "How is it going?" you ask, well, we are leaving on 19th January! So not that well....but thanks for asking.
Ever rising beer prices and rent added to a global sense of "we are not spending any money because it's nearly Christmas!" which has just followed "we are not spending any money because it's nearly Halloween!" which followed....you get the idea! So in a mere 11 weeks I will be back amongst the muggles doing a real job and living in a real flat....cannot fucking wait!
I will blog after I leave and explain fully but while I am still in the pub it would be unprofessional, not that I give two fucks about professionalism, but even so....
So, other things that have happened to me since my last blog...I have had one article printed in the Daily Post about Malcolm Allison (former Man City manager who died recently) I also have a "Taste test" of the Bengal Dynasty, which is basically a review of a restaurant, that will be in the Post in a couple of weeks, so it appears I could be the next John Terode (only better looking)
My band (not MY band but the band I play in!) Cyra Elia (again, strange name but great band) have really pushed on recently, we played at Headstock twice, (Headstock is an outdoor mini-festival put on by the King's Head pub on the 1st, 3rd and last Sundays in August) there were hundreds of people watching and we played really well I thought, here are a couple of videos from YouToooob from that gig, one of "I am not a robot" by Marina and the Diamonds and "Rabbit Heart" by Florence and the Machine, I'm the one in the stingy rimmed trilby (what an epic name for a hat!)
We also recently played the Conwy Food Festival, here are a selection of pictures of us performing, again I am wearing the hat!
Just checked my lottery numbers from last night, I did not win therefore I shall continue!
Currently reading Keith Richards autobiography, it's pretty awesome, I enjoy an autobiography that is honest and pulls no punches, I have read several in my life and am constantly amazed at what pandering shite is considered worthy enough to pay money for (I assure you if I charged for this blog I would get precisely 1 reader....me!) If you are going to write a warts'n'all story of what has happened in your life then either wait till you have retired (footballers) or wait till you are clean (rock stars) anybody else just wait till you have actually lived through something before writing it down.
Fuck me, I just thought I would check amazon and what do you know...Justin fucking Bieber? Beiber? Beeber? Beaber? whatever! He has released an autobiography, he is 16 years old and has been famous for about 20 minutes, nobody gives a holy fuck what has happened in his life except 12 year old girls, and they shouldn't be allowed to have an opinion until they are 18 (when by that time he will either be forgotten, dead or in rehab)
I see that Gavin from autoglass really has gone......YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!
I'll say that it won't be as long till my next blog but you know me, so lets just agree there will be a new one....sometime!
Peace,
Marcus.
P.S. Just watched BASEketball for the first time in a couple of years, amazing, seriously watch it!!
Well, Liverpool is not something I am going to talk about, if you would like to hear my thoughts on this matter then you can listen to The Sportscast, that's right, George and I from the Podcast Four have started our own sportscast and here is our logo.
Regarding the Podcast, I have finally been promoted to full member, well Dom just changed my name from the special guest list to the cast list, so I am actively looking for a pay rise or at least some expenses!Next up is the pub, "How is it going?" you ask, well, we are leaving on 19th January! So not that well....but thanks for asking.
Ever rising beer prices and rent added to a global sense of "we are not spending any money because it's nearly Christmas!" which has just followed "we are not spending any money because it's nearly Halloween!" which followed....you get the idea! So in a mere 11 weeks I will be back amongst the muggles doing a real job and living in a real flat....cannot fucking wait!
I will blog after I leave and explain fully but while I am still in the pub it would be unprofessional, not that I give two fucks about professionalism, but even so....
So, other things that have happened to me since my last blog...I have had one article printed in the Daily Post about Malcolm Allison (former Man City manager who died recently) I also have a "Taste test" of the Bengal Dynasty, which is basically a review of a restaurant, that will be in the Post in a couple of weeks, so it appears I could be the next John Terode (only better looking)
My band (not MY band but the band I play in!) Cyra Elia (again, strange name but great band) have really pushed on recently, we played at Headstock twice, (Headstock is an outdoor mini-festival put on by the King's Head pub on the 1st, 3rd and last Sundays in August) there were hundreds of people watching and we played really well I thought, here are a couple of videos from YouToooob from that gig, one of "I am not a robot" by Marina and the Diamonds and "Rabbit Heart" by Florence and the Machine, I'm the one in the stingy rimmed trilby (what an epic name for a hat!)
We also recently played the Conwy Food Festival, here are a selection of pictures of us performing, again I am wearing the hat!
Just checked my lottery numbers from last night, I did not win therefore I shall continue!
Currently reading Keith Richards autobiography, it's pretty awesome, I enjoy an autobiography that is honest and pulls no punches, I have read several in my life and am constantly amazed at what pandering shite is considered worthy enough to pay money for (I assure you if I charged for this blog I would get precisely 1 reader....me!) If you are going to write a warts'n'all story of what has happened in your life then either wait till you have retired (footballers) or wait till you are clean (rock stars) anybody else just wait till you have actually lived through something before writing it down.
Fuck me, I just thought I would check amazon and what do you know...Justin fucking Bieber? Beiber? Beeber? Beaber? whatever! He has released an autobiography, he is 16 years old and has been famous for about 20 minutes, nobody gives a holy fuck what has happened in his life except 12 year old girls, and they shouldn't be allowed to have an opinion until they are 18 (when by that time he will either be forgotten, dead or in rehab)
I see that Gavin from autoglass really has gone......YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!
I'll say that it won't be as long till my next blog but you know me, so lets just agree there will be a new one....sometime!
Peace,
Marcus.
P.S. Just watched BASEketball for the first time in a couple of years, amazing, seriously watch it!!
Friday 23 July 2010
Open Mics, Crazy nights and Mentals (doesn't rhyme but fuck it!)
So......even though I said it wouldn't be as long until my next blog, turns out it has been longer, but there you go, if you have a problem with it, see your local MP!!
I'll start with my pub....cue shameful plug........Open mic night last night, it really has turned into the best night around, It started up at the Gresham on Mostyn Street but when they temporarily closed it moved down to the Keys, it is now held weekly and alternatively between us and the Gresh. A very eclectic mix last night starting with Rachel, Greg and Joel (3/5ths of Cyra Elia, myself being another fifth) doing a couple of covers, then another band, Marmaduke who are four piece again with a female lead, sounded good to me.
Then it got a bit different, Sean Parry who is an amazingly talented artist (see here) played a baron drum and his freind Gaz on a homemade (Seasick Steve-esque) guitar played a few celtic tunes, really different and very cool, Cyra Elia came back as a full 5 piece band and did a couple before what was undoubtedly the highlight of the night.....My good self on guitar and lead vocals singing Baker Street with my friend Matt on Sax, he is an incredible sax player and proved it with this and a later performance, I don't mean to brag but it was fucking awesome!!
I won't keep on about it all I will say is if you (the reader!) live close enough then I emplore you to pop down and check the open Mic out as it really is something very different but also a genuinely great night out.............plug over!
I've done lots of Podcasts with Dom and George, still to break into iTunes top 100 comedy podcasts but it can only be a matter of time! George is away for 3 weeks now so it'll be a nice experience for Dom and I not being perpetually interrupted when we are sharing a story/link/improv-acoustic song, here is a snippet of our musical genius!
As always a little on LFC, New manager with Roy Hodgson, I for one am happy with his appointment and he is already showing his worth by signing Joe Cole for free and seemingly convincing Steven Gerrard to stay (looks like Lucas the cunt is staying aswell though......!!) so here is to a promising season ahead (sure I said that last year aswell!!)
I have started watching The Wire again from the start, I really love this show and am enjoying this time around more than before because you still learn so much about the characters, In episode four there is a scene that for my money could be one of the greatest scenes in TV history, basically two of the main characters rework a murder scene from a few months back using only one word!! (Here is a link, don't worry for those who have never seen The Wire, it contains no spoilers, only genius!)
While typing a classic example of one of the downsides to running a pub, a guy has just come in and asked where the jukebox is, when I told him we don't have one then he simply said "Well you are gonna have to talk to me......what's your genre.............?!"
I didn't really know what he was referring to, so asked, to which the reply was "What is it you do?" I told him I run a pub then he said "So you are heading up to Glasgee, or maybe down to Guildford!?"
It was at this point that I deemed him legally mental (I have a PHD in all things mental) and proceeded to video him on my iPhone until he sussed what I was doing and promptly left! I will look at the footage and post it on my next blog.
I will also be starting my new regular feature....that facebook status is fucking mental!! (see above) This weeks lucky winner is - "You talk shit and say it without a trace, so be a big girl and say it to my face. If you can't walk the walk then don't talk the talk cos moo cows like you get outlined in chalk!!" - This status was without irony or humour but was 100% genuine and from a 20 year old woman, god bless modern society!!
I will try my bestest to keep this blog more regularly....promise!
Peace
Marcus
P.S. where are you Gavin?....huh? that's right bitch, I got you fired!!
I'll start with my pub....cue shameful plug........Open mic night last night, it really has turned into the best night around, It started up at the Gresham on Mostyn Street but when they temporarily closed it moved down to the Keys, it is now held weekly and alternatively between us and the Gresh. A very eclectic mix last night starting with Rachel, Greg and Joel (3/5ths of Cyra Elia, myself being another fifth) doing a couple of covers, then another band, Marmaduke who are four piece again with a female lead, sounded good to me.
Then it got a bit different, Sean Parry who is an amazingly talented artist (see here) played a baron drum and his freind Gaz on a homemade (Seasick Steve-esque) guitar played a few celtic tunes, really different and very cool, Cyra Elia came back as a full 5 piece band and did a couple before what was undoubtedly the highlight of the night.....My good self on guitar and lead vocals singing Baker Street with my friend Matt on Sax, he is an incredible sax player and proved it with this and a later performance, I don't mean to brag but it was fucking awesome!!
I won't keep on about it all I will say is if you (the reader!) live close enough then I emplore you to pop down and check the open Mic out as it really is something very different but also a genuinely great night out.............plug over!
I've done lots of Podcasts with Dom and George, still to break into iTunes top 100 comedy podcasts but it can only be a matter of time! George is away for 3 weeks now so it'll be a nice experience for Dom and I not being perpetually interrupted when we are sharing a story/link/improv-acoustic song, here is a snippet of our musical genius!
As always a little on LFC, New manager with Roy Hodgson, I for one am happy with his appointment and he is already showing his worth by signing Joe Cole for free and seemingly convincing Steven Gerrard to stay (looks like Lucas the cunt is staying aswell though......!!) so here is to a promising season ahead (sure I said that last year aswell!!)
I have started watching The Wire again from the start, I really love this show and am enjoying this time around more than before because you still learn so much about the characters, In episode four there is a scene that for my money could be one of the greatest scenes in TV history, basically two of the main characters rework a murder scene from a few months back using only one word!! (Here is a link, don't worry for those who have never seen The Wire, it contains no spoilers, only genius!)
While typing a classic example of one of the downsides to running a pub, a guy has just come in and asked where the jukebox is, when I told him we don't have one then he simply said "Well you are gonna have to talk to me......what's your genre.............?!"
I didn't really know what he was referring to, so asked, to which the reply was "What is it you do?" I told him I run a pub then he said "So you are heading up to Glasgee, or maybe down to Guildford!?"
It was at this point that I deemed him legally mental (I have a PHD in all things mental) and proceeded to video him on my iPhone until he sussed what I was doing and promptly left! I will look at the footage and post it on my next blog.
I will also be starting my new regular feature....that facebook status is fucking mental!! (see above) This weeks lucky winner is - "You talk shit and say it without a trace, so be a big girl and say it to my face. If you can't walk the walk then don't talk the talk cos moo cows like you get outlined in chalk!!" - This status was without irony or humour but was 100% genuine and from a 20 year old woman, god bless modern society!!
I will try my bestest to keep this blog more regularly....promise!
Peace
Marcus
P.S. where are you Gavin?....huh? that's right bitch, I got you fired!!
Friday 23 April 2010
I'm back and He's gone!!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOORD UP!!!!!
I'M FUCKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!
Sorry dudes to not blog for so long but pub stuff and life in general have made it very difficult to find the time, but despite owning and running the best (In my humble opinion!) pub in town I find myself with half an hour free so have decided to write my blog!!
I'll start with the pub, it's going pretty well so far, haven't gone bankrupt yet but also haven't put a deposit down on my DB9 either! We have maintained the live music on Saturday nights and here are links to a few of my personal fave's Section 3, Audiosun, Rainbow Bridge, check them out and get wherever your local is to contact them and get them in!!
Talking of music the amazing lead singer of our band Rachel has started her own promotions company to help bands and artists come together with venues in the hope of making herself a few quid (but also to promote music in general) check out Littlemac Promotions to see what she is up too and where to find a gig!
I won't mention wanky, shit merchants Liverpool FC as we are complete fucking tripe and don't deserve to grace this page....what I will say is that the sooner Rafa fucks off and takes Lucas (the cunt) with him the better, this season its played 52 (all comps) and lost 18, that is just not good enough so time for him to go!!
Since my last blog I have recorded two podcasts with Dom and George from The Podcast Four, the first was number 18 and also the one due for release on this Sunday which will be number 22, It's great fun and if you have a minute then please check them out!
Poker on Monday was a cash game, I finished £25 up thank you very much! 7 players to start finishing with Dom and myself heads up, J, 10, 6 on the flop after some raising pre-flop, Dom bet, I re-raised, Dom went all-in, I of course called, He had Ace/Jack I had 10/10.....goodnight Vienna!!
Mike played and to quote Dom...
....and as I know Mike doesn’t read my blog or listen to the podcast, he played rubbish and he has a stupid face and he should respect the poster in the pub, and I took him down heads up. Two hands I think. Oops. That’s how I don’t fold. Top pair, he check-raised my flop bet with fuck all. “I got nothing mate” yeah? Well I got you beat… unless the next two cards hit you… which they didn’t.. so… good...
...for the record I don't mind Mike's face!!
So the other night i'm in the pub on my own and two guys in their late 50's (or early 60's possibly) came in for a drink...
....now before I continue I will just mention something I brought up on this weeks podcast, A newspaper article stated that in a poll of 500 drinkers in Liverpool, Manchester and Chester 1 in 10 said they intended to drink 20 pints that night!! we spoke about those guys we know that say things like.."Last night yeah, I must have drunk yeah, 8 pints of cider yeah, a bottle of vodka yeah, and 9 sambucas yeah!" and concluded they are all dicks!!
....so back to the two guys, first one looks at what to drink and asks what is the strongest lager? "Stella" I say, "um....have you got anything stronger?" he asked, "No, not on draught!" I reply, He then turns to his mate and says that 5% Stella is the strongest and did they wanna go elsewhere, "Might aswell have one here" the second guy says, so I proceed to pour two pints of Stella (or wifebeater as it is more commonly known!) the first guy then starts telling me how much to drink him and his mate had the day before, "we started at 11am with wine before moving on to beer at lunchtime, then it was...." at this point I dialled the number of the Pub on my mobile and pretended to have a conversation with my mother!
It will not surprise you to know these guys were on an organised singles holiday!!
That'll do for now but to say this........GAVIN FROM AUTOGLASS IS NO MOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEE!!!
I haven't seen an Autoglass advert with that CUNT for ages, so I win!!!
Peace
Marcus
P.s. I promise it won't be as long till my next blog!!
I'M FUCKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!
Sorry dudes to not blog for so long but pub stuff and life in general have made it very difficult to find the time, but despite owning and running the best (In my humble opinion!) pub in town I find myself with half an hour free so have decided to write my blog!!
I'll start with the pub, it's going pretty well so far, haven't gone bankrupt yet but also haven't put a deposit down on my DB9 either! We have maintained the live music on Saturday nights and here are links to a few of my personal fave's Section 3, Audiosun, Rainbow Bridge, check them out and get wherever your local is to contact them and get them in!!
Talking of music the amazing lead singer of our band Rachel has started her own promotions company to help bands and artists come together with venues in the hope of making herself a few quid (but also to promote music in general) check out Littlemac Promotions to see what she is up too and where to find a gig!
I won't mention wanky, shit merchants Liverpool FC as we are complete fucking tripe and don't deserve to grace this page....what I will say is that the sooner Rafa fucks off and takes Lucas (the cunt) with him the better, this season its played 52 (all comps) and lost 18, that is just not good enough so time for him to go!!
Since my last blog I have recorded two podcasts with Dom and George from The Podcast Four, the first was number 18 and also the one due for release on this Sunday which will be number 22, It's great fun and if you have a minute then please check them out!
Poker on Monday was a cash game, I finished £25 up thank you very much! 7 players to start finishing with Dom and myself heads up, J, 10, 6 on the flop after some raising pre-flop, Dom bet, I re-raised, Dom went all-in, I of course called, He had Ace/Jack I had 10/10.....goodnight Vienna!!
Mike played and to quote Dom...
....and as I know Mike doesn’t read my blog or listen to the podcast, he played rubbish and he has a stupid face and he should respect the poster in the pub, and I took him down heads up. Two hands I think. Oops. That’s how I don’t fold. Top pair, he check-raised my flop bet with fuck all. “I got nothing mate” yeah? Well I got you beat… unless the next two cards hit you… which they didn’t.. so… good...
...for the record I don't mind Mike's face!!
So the other night i'm in the pub on my own and two guys in their late 50's (or early 60's possibly) came in for a drink...
....now before I continue I will just mention something I brought up on this weeks podcast, A newspaper article stated that in a poll of 500 drinkers in Liverpool, Manchester and Chester 1 in 10 said they intended to drink 20 pints that night!! we spoke about those guys we know that say things like.."Last night yeah, I must have drunk yeah, 8 pints of cider yeah, a bottle of vodka yeah, and 9 sambucas yeah!" and concluded they are all dicks!!
....so back to the two guys, first one looks at what to drink and asks what is the strongest lager? "Stella" I say, "um....have you got anything stronger?" he asked, "No, not on draught!" I reply, He then turns to his mate and says that 5% Stella is the strongest and did they wanna go elsewhere, "Might aswell have one here" the second guy says, so I proceed to pour two pints of Stella (or wifebeater as it is more commonly known!) the first guy then starts telling me how much to drink him and his mate had the day before, "we started at 11am with wine before moving on to beer at lunchtime, then it was...." at this point I dialled the number of the Pub on my mobile and pretended to have a conversation with my mother!
It will not surprise you to know these guys were on an organised singles holiday!!
That'll do for now but to say this........GAVIN FROM AUTOGLASS IS NO MOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEE!!!
I haven't seen an Autoglass advert with that CUNT for ages, so I win!!!
Peace
Marcus
P.s. I promise it won't be as long till my next blog!!
Wednesday 24 February 2010
Self whoring, not gaying or racisting, obviously!!
Still haven't got time to write a blog but I'll do my bestest for now, pub is going well, here is a quick rundown of what happens when:- Tuesday quiz, Thursday themed quiz, starting with sport this week followed by movies and music quizzes, Friday is Karaoke night and live music every Saturday with great local bands....OK, that's enough self whoring for now!!
Saw an interview on TV the other day with Glen Johnson and had to laugh at how many times the man says "obviously!!" So here it is, He says obviously 10 times in 2 mins and 15 seconds giving him a obviously per minute (OPM) ratio of 4.14....obviously!!
Staying with footy, why is it if a player has a terrible game that they are said to be "unfortunate!!" Lukas Fabianski played in goal for Arsenal on Wednesday night, scored an own goal and then picked a back pass from Sol Campbell for Porto to score their second goal....the commentator's words later on were "...and Porto still hold this narrow lead thanks in part to the UNFORTUNATE Fabianski" I'm fairly sure what he should have said was "...and Porto still hold this narrow lead thanks in part to the COMPLETELY FUCKING USELESS BAG OF BABOONS SPUNK Fabianski"
Still sort of with football, The Cole's (Cheryl and Cashley) have finally split, a friend of mine uttered his thoughts on the subject which I will repeat but remember these are not my thoughts, He said "Cheryl is a racist cos of beating up a black girl in a nightclub toilet calling her a chickaboo and Ashley likes mobile phones up his bum making him a bummer, it was the perfect marriage of convenience, She marries a black man proving she isn't racist and he marries a woman proving he isn't gay!!"
It would be impossible to write things without mentioning the pub as it is where I spend 30 hours a day! So the other day a lovely old couple popped in lunchtime and bought a drink, took a seat by the fire and chatted about stuff, I picked up an empty nearby when the nice old lady asked me if I was the new Landlord and what my name is, I replied yes I am and my name is Marcus, she told me her favourite ever poet was called Marcus....something (she never remembered his surname) and began to deliver what turned out to be a SEVEN FUCKING MINUTE rendition of one of his poems!! I won't be rude as she was a paying customer but seriously........what the fuck!?!
I was always told as a child that the police were the people who you should trust and respect, also that if in trouble always ask a policeman....this leads me to a story that happened about a week ago (for security reasons I cannot recant the whole thing but here it is in a nutshell) I may or may not have had trouble possibly getting into somewhere that may or may not be somewhere I may or may not have needed or wanted to possibly go, so I asked a policeman who may or may not have been nearby and he possibly made it easier to get into somewhere that I may or may not have needed to get in to........ is that coy enough!?!
My fianceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee told me what she saw last Saturday night whilst walking to The Godfather for chips and cheese (after working at the pub, not a night out) Now some stories just don't need a punchline or something added to make it brilliant....this is such a story. She was about halfway there when she saw on the floor a large pile of what can only be described as watery vom, about 10 paces later she saw a flowery birthday card and within another 10 paces was the finale....a smashed Lambrini bottle!!! Puke, girly birthday card, Lambrini bottle!! Imagine what this lovely lady looked ...yep....I thought the same....!!
As Mr Farelli (No, you're welcome) will have mentioned in his blog, we had a little game of poker on Monday which he won, I was out 2nd of 7 so not very good, however no story of a bad beat, no middle pin straight on the river or hit a 2 on the turn while holding a pair of ducks, I had Ace/10 suited, Mike went all-in, I called, he had Ace/Queen suited and won....in the words of Dr Claw.."I'll get you next time, Gadget!".......without the Gadget!!
Peace,
Marcus
P.S. Turns out I did have quite a lot to write about and I never mention the fact that Gavin from Autoglass is in fact....a cunt!!
Saw an interview on TV the other day with Glen Johnson and had to laugh at how many times the man says "obviously!!" So here it is, He says obviously 10 times in 2 mins and 15 seconds giving him a obviously per minute (OPM) ratio of 4.14....obviously!!
Staying with footy, why is it if a player has a terrible game that they are said to be "unfortunate!!" Lukas Fabianski played in goal for Arsenal on Wednesday night, scored an own goal and then picked a back pass from Sol Campbell for Porto to score their second goal....the commentator's words later on were "...and Porto still hold this narrow lead thanks in part to the UNFORTUNATE Fabianski" I'm fairly sure what he should have said was "...and Porto still hold this narrow lead thanks in part to the COMPLETELY FUCKING USELESS BAG OF BABOONS SPUNK Fabianski"
Still sort of with football, The Cole's (Cheryl and Cashley) have finally split, a friend of mine uttered his thoughts on the subject which I will repeat but remember these are not my thoughts, He said "Cheryl is a racist cos of beating up a black girl in a nightclub toilet calling her a chickaboo and Ashley likes mobile phones up his bum making him a bummer, it was the perfect marriage of convenience, She marries a black man proving she isn't racist and he marries a woman proving he isn't gay!!"
It would be impossible to write things without mentioning the pub as it is where I spend 30 hours a day! So the other day a lovely old couple popped in lunchtime and bought a drink, took a seat by the fire and chatted about stuff, I picked up an empty nearby when the nice old lady asked me if I was the new Landlord and what my name is, I replied yes I am and my name is Marcus, she told me her favourite ever poet was called Marcus....something (she never remembered his surname) and began to deliver what turned out to be a SEVEN FUCKING MINUTE rendition of one of his poems!! I won't be rude as she was a paying customer but seriously........what the fuck!?!
I was always told as a child that the police were the people who you should trust and respect, also that if in trouble always ask a policeman....this leads me to a story that happened about a week ago (for security reasons I cannot recant the whole thing but here it is in a nutshell) I may or may not have had trouble possibly getting into somewhere that may or may not be somewhere I may or may not have needed or wanted to possibly go, so I asked a policeman who may or may not have been nearby and he possibly made it easier to get into somewhere that I may or may not have needed to get in to........ is that coy enough!?!
My fianceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee told me what she saw last Saturday night whilst walking to The Godfather for chips and cheese (after working at the pub, not a night out) Now some stories just don't need a punchline or something added to make it brilliant....this is such a story. She was about halfway there when she saw on the floor a large pile of what can only be described as watery vom, about 10 paces later she saw a flowery birthday card and within another 10 paces was the finale....a smashed Lambrini bottle!!! Puke, girly birthday card, Lambrini bottle!! Imagine what this lovely lady looked ...yep....I thought the same....!!
As Mr Farelli (No, you're welcome) will have mentioned in his blog, we had a little game of poker on Monday which he won, I was out 2nd of 7 so not very good, however no story of a bad beat, no middle pin straight on the river or hit a 2 on the turn while holding a pair of ducks, I had Ace/10 suited, Mike went all-in, I called, he had Ace/Queen suited and won....in the words of Dr Claw.."I'll get you next time, Gadget!".......without the Gadget!!
Peace,
Marcus
P.S. Turns out I did have quite a lot to write about and I never mention the fact that Gavin from Autoglass is in fact....a cunt!!
Tuesday 16 February 2010
Landlord = Me!!
As if I have time to write a fucking blog!! Ok pub is now open and taking up every minute of my life (I knew it would but still......) opening night was too amazing to explain properly as you really had to be there to see it but for those who couldn't or wouldn't.....Box of Frogs rocked, as did the building to its foundations all night long (that sums it up nicely!!)
I would like to tell you a whole bunch of stuff but I have hardly had time to eat let alone experience things worth writing about so i'm afraid this will be the shortest blog i've done, but for regulars here is a little housekeeping....
Gavin from Autoglass = Cuntage.
Podcast Four = Awesome.
LFC losing to Arsenal = Wank.
Lucas = Shit as always.
Unparallelled chicken generosity = Vegetarian tramp.
Owning a pub = Very fucking tiring.
Owning a pub = Very fucking cool.
Owning a pub = Skill!!!
Two thirds of a bottle of Irish whiskey in 2 hours = Floor (you know who you are!!)
Well that is all I can muster this time, hope to be more substantive soon.
Peace.
Marcus.
P.S. Did I say how cool owning a pub is?
I would like to tell you a whole bunch of stuff but I have hardly had time to eat let alone experience things worth writing about so i'm afraid this will be the shortest blog i've done, but for regulars here is a little housekeeping....
Gavin from Autoglass = Cuntage.
Podcast Four = Awesome.
LFC losing to Arsenal = Wank.
Lucas = Shit as always.
Unparallelled chicken generosity = Vegetarian tramp.
Owning a pub = Very fucking tiring.
Owning a pub = Very fucking cool.
Owning a pub = Skill!!!
Two thirds of a bottle of Irish whiskey in 2 hours = Floor (you know who you are!!)
Well that is all I can muster this time, hope to be more substantive soon.
Peace.
Marcus.
P.S. Did I say how cool owning a pub is?
Monday 8 February 2010
Picky tramps, repetitive c units and finally....!!
So finally it appears the day of reckoning is upon me as I should be signing the lease on the pub tomorrow, very excited about it and with a bit of luck we will be opening on Saturday 13th February with a huge bang. The Box of Frogs are coming to play live and it will be an absolutely amazing night so get your bad selves there!!
I went to KFC the other night and passed a homeless man outside who coined the inevitable line..."got any spare change?" I didn't at the time so continued into KFC and got my food, as i was ordering I thought I would be extra nice and buy some food for the fella outside. I bought a BBQ roller thingy (basically a small twister with BBQ sauce) and with a sense of pride stepped outside to give the man his treat. I handed him the little bag and he proceeded to thank me but also informed me.......He is a fucking vegetarian.......!!
I have been learning more about how to set up my blog page so now you will see at the top links to The Cross Keys Twitter and Facebook pages and have now added my Xbox live gamercard to the sidebar, more random shit will appear soon as I find stuff to put on!
As I'm writing this, motherfucking Gavin from motherfucking Autoglass has just motherfucking appeared on my motherfucking TV.......cunt!!
The mighty LFC beat Everton 1-0 after being reduced to 10 men with only 35 mins gone in the game, Everton eventually had someone sent off despite playing all 90 minutes with the referee on their team (cynical and Kev would strongly disagree but fuck it...) Now to beat Arsenal on Weds night and forget 4th place we could easily make 3rd!!
Staying with football (or at least players) I want to comment on John Terry and his indiscretions, I have heard arguments saying whatever he has done shouldn't affect being captain, also the flip side where people think he should be banned. I personally feel as captain he has a larger responsibility than just on the field and I think Capello made the right choice to take the captaincy off Terry....but then he gave to an injury prone drug cheat!! I don't care how biased it is, Gerrard is the logical and natural choice, however this could all have been a moot point if Terry could have kept it in his pants!!
What the fuck........the Autoglass advert has just been on again.....cunts!!!
I've just realised that tonight is my last night of being unemployed....shit!!
Peace,
Marcus.
P.S. Remember Sat 13th February opening night at The Keys!!
I went to KFC the other night and passed a homeless man outside who coined the inevitable line..."got any spare change?" I didn't at the time so continued into KFC and got my food, as i was ordering I thought I would be extra nice and buy some food for the fella outside. I bought a BBQ roller thingy (basically a small twister with BBQ sauce) and with a sense of pride stepped outside to give the man his treat. I handed him the little bag and he proceeded to thank me but also informed me.......He is a fucking vegetarian.......!!
I have been learning more about how to set up my blog page so now you will see at the top links to The Cross Keys Twitter and Facebook pages and have now added my Xbox live gamercard to the sidebar, more random shit will appear soon as I find stuff to put on!
As I'm writing this, motherfucking Gavin from motherfucking Autoglass has just motherfucking appeared on my motherfucking TV.......cunt!!
The mighty LFC beat Everton 1-0 after being reduced to 10 men with only 35 mins gone in the game, Everton eventually had someone sent off despite playing all 90 minutes with the referee on their team (cynical and Kev would strongly disagree but fuck it...) Now to beat Arsenal on Weds night and forget 4th place we could easily make 3rd!!
Staying with football (or at least players) I want to comment on John Terry and his indiscretions, I have heard arguments saying whatever he has done shouldn't affect being captain, also the flip side where people think he should be banned. I personally feel as captain he has a larger responsibility than just on the field and I think Capello made the right choice to take the captaincy off Terry....but then he gave to an injury prone drug cheat!! I don't care how biased it is, Gerrard is the logical and natural choice, however this could all have been a moot point if Terry could have kept it in his pants!!
What the fuck........the Autoglass advert has just been on again.....cunts!!!
I've just realised that tonight is my last night of being unemployed....shit!!
Peace,
Marcus.
P.S. Remember Sat 13th February opening night at The Keys!!
Thursday 4 February 2010
Doppelbollocks twittering birdy, Dara?
Hmmm... so it turns out that I don't have as much to say as I thought I might today so thought I might have a theme...then realised that is a wanky idea so scrapped it.
Starting with football (as always girls and gays, scroll down (and when I say gay i'm not suggesting homosexuals don't like football, just people that don't like football are gay (not that I have anything agaist gaying either (should probably just shut up now)))) So...football, LFC play saturday in the merseyside derby against Everton, easy win as always for the mighty reds!!
Have you heard the word?
Don't really understand Twitter yet but have signed up for it on behalf of the pub (assuming I ever take over!!) so if anybody is on Twitter then "follow" me (I guess!)
http://www.twitter.com/the_cross_keys
Staying with the internet I wanted to put up a few links to videos that I love but don't know how many of you have seen them or not, I hope that there is at least one here that is new to you...
http://vimeo.co/173714 Group of office workers lypsynching to LIT's "I'm not sick but i'm not well", Thanks to Bluejooz for the link.
http://vimeo.com/8267791 Ok Go's music video for "A Million Ways"
http://vimeo.com/8267567 Ok Go again this time its "Here it Goes again"
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1928033 ....Umm, its just funny!!
Everybodys heard about the word.
Getting very excited about Download Festival after the first round of bands were announced, headlining on the friday night will be AC/DC and quite frankly it will be fine if they just play on their own all weekend, I fucking love AC/DC is what I am essentially saying, and those of you who have not heard Back in Black are missing out on one of the best albums ever made!!
Its doppelganger week on Facebook this week (supposedly) however not many people have joined in, all you have to do is change your profile pic to a celebrity who you resemble so I (obviously) went for Dara O'Briain (the host of Mock The Week, although not so obvious if you don't know what I look like...umm...I look a bit like Dara O'Briain)
That is Dara with my lovely Fianceeeee (still not sure on those e's!!) at Alton Towers and my good self on the left in a sharp suit!!
Everybody's heard about the bird !
Bird bird bird, the bird is the word !
Everybody's heard about the bird !
Bird bird bird, the bird is the word !
Everybody's heard about the bird !
Bird bird bird, the bird is the word !
Everybody's heard about the bird !
Bird bird bird, the bird is the word !
Thats it, still no pub, getting very fucked off!!
Open Mic tonight at The Gresham.
Peace,
Marcus.
P.S. Manflu gone for those that were worried!!
Starting with football (as always girls and gays, scroll down (and when I say gay i'm not suggesting homosexuals don't like football, just people that don't like football are gay (not that I have anything agaist gaying either (should probably just shut up now)))) So...football, LFC play saturday in the merseyside derby against Everton, easy win as always for the mighty reds!!
Have you heard the word?
Don't really understand Twitter yet but have signed up for it on behalf of the pub (assuming I ever take over!!) so if anybody is on Twitter then "follow" me (I guess!)
http://www.twitter.com/the_cross_keys
Staying with the internet I wanted to put up a few links to videos that I love but don't know how many of you have seen them or not, I hope that there is at least one here that is new to you...
http://vimeo.co/173714 Group of office workers lypsynching to LIT's "I'm not sick but i'm not well", Thanks to Bluejooz for the link.
http://vimeo.com/8267791 Ok Go's music video for "A Million Ways"
http://vimeo.com/8267567 Ok Go again this time its "Here it Goes again"
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1928033 ....Umm, its just funny!!
Everybodys heard about the word.
Getting very excited about Download Festival after the first round of bands were announced, headlining on the friday night will be AC/DC and quite frankly it will be fine if they just play on their own all weekend, I fucking love AC/DC is what I am essentially saying, and those of you who have not heard Back in Black are missing out on one of the best albums ever made!!
Its doppelganger week on Facebook this week (supposedly) however not many people have joined in, all you have to do is change your profile pic to a celebrity who you resemble so I (obviously) went for Dara O'Briain (the host of Mock The Week, although not so obvious if you don't know what I look like...umm...I look a bit like Dara O'Briain)
That is Dara with my lovely Fianceeeee (still not sure on those e's!!) at Alton Towers and my good self on the left in a sharp suit!!
Everybody's heard about the bird !
Bird bird bird, the bird is the word !
Everybody's heard about the bird !
Bird bird bird, the bird is the word !
Everybody's heard about the bird !
Bird bird bird, the bird is the word !
Everybody's heard about the bird !
Bird bird bird, the bird is the word !
Thats it, still no pub, getting very fucked off!!
Open Mic tonight at The Gresham.
Peace,
Marcus.
P.S. Manflu gone for those that were worried!!
Sunday 31 January 2010
Manflu.......MEH!! plus Denis, Steve and Boo Boo
Aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgh!! I have Man Flu and as always am wallowing in my own particular brand of self pity, snotty tissues, runny nose, headache and Night Nurse. For those of you who have never had Night Nurse it really is quite the medicine/opiate, you really should try it! Denis Leary did a stand-up show called No Cure for Cancer in the early nineties and in it he describes the pleasures of NyQuil (which is essentially an early version of Night Nurse), a common cold relief which includes all sorts of shit that basically knock you out (here is a link to see him telling you about it, very funny!!)
*Cough*
Got up early to watch Andy Murray lose the Australian Open final this morning (8.30 isn't early but as I am doing nothing at all at the moment it's very fucking early!!), I'm not sure if I thought he would win or not, I know he is capable but its the stigma attached to being British (not Scottish when he is good at something!). If Murray was Bulgarian but had the exact same talent then he would probably be picking up his 3rd or 4th Major title, but being British (again, not Scottish!) makes it harder, I'm sure he will win a major one day....just not today!
*Sneeze*
Staying with sport I went to The Racecourse Ground (Wrexham FC's home ground) on Friday night to see the first Superleague game of the season (Rugby League), as we were approaching Wrexham there was quite a bit of snow around so wondered if the game would even go ahead, the pitch itself was covered in a couple of inches of snow but the game went ahead in -4C weather. I know those Rugby boys are hard as nails but even I could see the expressions on their faces when being tackled....it was one of "FUCK ME...I'M FUCKING FREEZING!!)
*Sniff*
Been watching all the Bottom Live DVD's recently, I love them....that's all on that!!
I was going to mention Steven Seagal: Lawman anyway but the boys from The Podcast Four http://podcastfour.blogspot.com/ spoke about him briefly....never mind I will say what I was going to say anyway, for anyone who hasn't seen it, its about Steven Seagal having a real day job as a deputy sheriff somewhere in the arse-end of nowhere, Louisiana. In the one episode I saw the first half had Seagal and the other deputys doing police type work but in the second half it changed into...
Steven Seagal: Please somebody remember me! (Imagine this synopsis read out by a deep voiced American who normally does voice overs for epic thrillers)
"Steven Seagal is charged with his most difficult mission to date....being more self absorbed than Paris Hilton and Katie Price put together!!"
As soon as the second half started it showed him practising with his band (I have actually seen him play live.. it wasn't bad and he can really play a guitar very well) then we see him going to a children's hospital (with sunglasses on...cock) and meeting kids with all kinds of problems before shedding a crocodile tear (still with sunglasses on...double cock) and announcing he will put on a concert to help raise money for the hospital!!
Why doesn't he just give some money to the hospital instead of walking around (with sunglasses on.... Treble cock!!) hoping one of the kids has seen Nico!!
*Cough*
Still no pub yet!!
*Sneeze*
Next open mic, Thursday 4th Feb, Upstairs @ The Gresham Bar, Mostyn Street, Llandudno come one, come all (I may be performing a version of the now fabled "Fuck off Kev, I'm not making you a Coffee") assuming my Man Flu has gone by then.
*Sniff*
Peace,
Mar *Sneeze *cus!!
P.S. If you are reading this Boo Boo....you've missed your own point!!
*Cough*
Got up early to watch Andy Murray lose the Australian Open final this morning (8.30 isn't early but as I am doing nothing at all at the moment it's very fucking early!!), I'm not sure if I thought he would win or not, I know he is capable but its the stigma attached to being British (not Scottish when he is good at something!). If Murray was Bulgarian but had the exact same talent then he would probably be picking up his 3rd or 4th Major title, but being British (again, not Scottish!) makes it harder, I'm sure he will win a major one day....just not today!
*Sneeze*
Staying with sport I went to The Racecourse Ground (Wrexham FC's home ground) on Friday night to see the first Superleague game of the season (Rugby League), as we were approaching Wrexham there was quite a bit of snow around so wondered if the game would even go ahead, the pitch itself was covered in a couple of inches of snow but the game went ahead in -4C weather. I know those Rugby boys are hard as nails but even I could see the expressions on their faces when being tackled....it was one of "FUCK ME...I'M FUCKING FREEZING!!)
*Sniff*
Been watching all the Bottom Live DVD's recently, I love them....that's all on that!!
I was going to mention Steven Seagal: Lawman anyway but the boys from The Podcast Four http://podcastfour.blogspot.com/ spoke about him briefly....never mind I will say what I was going to say anyway, for anyone who hasn't seen it, its about Steven Seagal having a real day job as a deputy sheriff somewhere in the arse-end of nowhere, Louisiana. In the one episode I saw the first half had Seagal and the other deputys doing police type work but in the second half it changed into...
Steven Seagal: Please somebody remember me! (Imagine this synopsis read out by a deep voiced American who normally does voice overs for epic thrillers)
"Steven Seagal is charged with his most difficult mission to date....being more self absorbed than Paris Hilton and Katie Price put together!!"
As soon as the second half started it showed him practising with his band (I have actually seen him play live.. it wasn't bad and he can really play a guitar very well) then we see him going to a children's hospital (with sunglasses on...cock) and meeting kids with all kinds of problems before shedding a crocodile tear (still with sunglasses on...double cock) and announcing he will put on a concert to help raise money for the hospital!!
Why doesn't he just give some money to the hospital instead of walking around (with sunglasses on.... Treble cock!!) hoping one of the kids has seen Nico!!
*Cough*
Still no pub yet!!
*Sneeze*
Next open mic, Thursday 4th Feb, Upstairs @ The Gresham Bar, Mostyn Street, Llandudno come one, come all (I may be performing a version of the now fabled "Fuck off Kev, I'm not making you a Coffee") assuming my Man Flu has gone by then.
*Sniff*
Peace,
Mar *Sneeze *cus!!
P.S. If you are reading this Boo Boo....you've missed your own point!!
Thursday 28 January 2010
Classic films, c units, frogs in boxes and pub landlording!
It appears as if I bothered somebody with my "Gavin from Autoglass is a cunt" comment, as he/she/heshe (anonymously I might add) said, and I quote "your a cunt! like most people from llandundo." Now I replied with the obvious statement which is "Where is llandundo?" and added that this 'anonymous' may in fact be Gavin from Autoglass, alas it turns out that this potential child abuser is not famous and is in fact (just like Gavin from Autoglass) a cunt!!
My fianceeeeee (never sure how many e's there should beeeee!) has, as it turns out a spectacular amount of classic films that she has yet to see. Now as a lover of films (don't want to say film buff, sounds like I'm vying for Jonathan Ross' job!) I find it amazing that she has yet to see films like (this list is gonna make you raise your eyebrows and gasp!) :-
Blues Brothers
Spinal Tap
Usual Suspects
Godfather Trilogy
Scarface (Best film EVER!!)
So as a consequence to this I have started making a comprehensive list and if need be will strap her to a chair and force her to watch them!! I still love her though, just wish she would stop watching wierd Japanese cartoons and see Goodfellas. No real point to that, just wanted to say it!
Should be Pub signing day today but has been put back a few days due to a couple of small issues with the lease so planned opening day of 5th Feb may be put back but of course I will let y'all know, regardless of opening day pencil in 13th Feb as party night, we have the mighty Box of Frogs playing at the Keys and it is going to be an amazing night, I say again, Saturday 13th February, do it, do it now!!
I would like to throw a mention to people who I know have read my blog and say thanks and please keep on reading as I enjoy receiving feedback (good or bad) as much as writing them (however criticise it and you will be labelled a child abuser 'see above')
A little on LFC (scroll down girls) we beat Spurs 2-0 despite Dirka Dirka (Kuyt, if you didn't get that!) scoring twice he missed about 3 glaring chances, Lucas was toss as always however it was an all round decent performance by the team and should have been a platform to go on (how many times has an LFC fan sad that this season!) but we went to play Wolves, had Gerrard back in the team so no problem.
But of course we had a shit game and drew 0-0. I am still considering switching allegiances to rugby (especially as the Celtic Crusaders are playing home games at Wrexham, I shall be there on Friday night, plus its live on Sky so look out for me) but for now I will continue to support the Reds!
It seems as though this blog has turned into a rant so i'll end on a positive note, watched 'In Treatment' last night and absolutely loved it, (cue a quick review) Gabriel Byrne plays a psychiatrist and the series follows his meetings with clients, it is set exclusively in his office so is very script based but it has already made a huge impression on me, so to summarise....watch it!
Peace,
Marcus.
P.S. I trust you have all now watched Full Metal Jacket!!
My fianceeeeee (never sure how many e's there should beeeee!) has, as it turns out a spectacular amount of classic films that she has yet to see. Now as a lover of films (don't want to say film buff, sounds like I'm vying for Jonathan Ross' job!) I find it amazing that she has yet to see films like (this list is gonna make you raise your eyebrows and gasp!) :-
Blues Brothers
Spinal Tap
Usual Suspects
Godfather Trilogy
Scarface (Best film EVER!!)
So as a consequence to this I have started making a comprehensive list and if need be will strap her to a chair and force her to watch them!! I still love her though, just wish she would stop watching wierd Japanese cartoons and see Goodfellas. No real point to that, just wanted to say it!
Should be Pub signing day today but has been put back a few days due to a couple of small issues with the lease so planned opening day of 5th Feb may be put back but of course I will let y'all know, regardless of opening day pencil in 13th Feb as party night, we have the mighty Box of Frogs playing at the Keys and it is going to be an amazing night, I say again, Saturday 13th February, do it, do it now!!
I would like to throw a mention to people who I know have read my blog and say thanks and please keep on reading as I enjoy receiving feedback (good or bad) as much as writing them (however criticise it and you will be labelled a child abuser 'see above')
A little on LFC (scroll down girls) we beat Spurs 2-0 despite Dirka Dirka (Kuyt, if you didn't get that!) scoring twice he missed about 3 glaring chances, Lucas was toss as always however it was an all round decent performance by the team and should have been a platform to go on (how many times has an LFC fan sad that this season!) but we went to play Wolves, had Gerrard back in the team so no problem.
But of course we had a shit game and drew 0-0. I am still considering switching allegiances to rugby (especially as the Celtic Crusaders are playing home games at Wrexham, I shall be there on Friday night, plus its live on Sky so look out for me) but for now I will continue to support the Reds!
It seems as though this blog has turned into a rant so i'll end on a positive note, watched 'In Treatment' last night and absolutely loved it, (cue a quick review) Gabriel Byrne plays a psychiatrist and the series follows his meetings with clients, it is set exclusively in his office so is very script based but it has already made a huge impression on me, so to summarise....watch it!
Peace,
Marcus.
P.S. I trust you have all now watched Full Metal Jacket!!
Saturday 23 January 2010
Whoring gold and raining blood!
It really doesn't matter how many times I see Dale Winton on TV I am literally never surprised as to what level of whoring he will go to..... "My shitty bracelet is worth £3.2m.....Cash My Gold Dale!!!" Note how he has a boot camp (!) way of making people talk to him in so much as everyone must say Dale after every sentence, like Full Metal Jacket meets Queer eye....
DALE: I am Gunnery Sergeant Dale, your Senior "Drill" Instructor. From now
on you will speak only when spoken to, and the first and last words out of
your filthy sewers will be "Dale!" Do you maggots understand that?
RECRUITS: (in unison) Dale, yes, Dale!
DALE: Bullshit! I can't hear you. Sound off like you got a pair.
RECRUITS : (louder) Dale, yes, Dale!
I mentioned in my first blog about being able to hold my own in a conversation about football with anyone, then alluded to a story involving Ray Stubbs (for those who don't know him he was a presenter on BBC and Gary Lineker's understudy on MOTD and is now football anchorman on ESPN), not a great story but I basically bumped into him on a train between Stoke-on-Trent and Birmingham standing near the toilets and said (like a fucking starstruck teenager) "hey, you're Ray Stubbs!" he smiled and said yes and we talked football for the remaining 15 minutes of the journey when I realised why he was standing near the toilets (not to use the toilets, I hasten to add) but he was in fact dodging his fare!! ..........Ray Stubbs ladies and gents, football presenter, pundit, ladies man (I guess!!) and fare dodger..... legend!
Anyone who has seen Scrubs (and enjoys it like me) would have seen "Ted's band", but only last week whilst using Last.FM on the Xbox 360 (which is brilliant) I found out that they are a real band and have a website and everything so check them out... http://www.theblankswebsite.com/
Open mic night at The Gresham was another absolute blinder, I met Dom from http://www.domfarelli.blogspot.com/ and we chatted about stuff including whether S**** fucked R*** or not and why it only lasted one week! As for the music we had Pop, Rock, Acapella and improv-metal as well as a masterful performance of "Raining Blood" by Slayer (not the real Slayer of course!). Next one is 4Th Feb so come along........Its skill (love that word!)
DALE: Where in hell are you from anyway, Private?
COWBOY: Dale, Texas, Dale!
DALE: Holy dogshit! Texas! Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private
Cowboy! And you don't look much like a steer to me, so that kinda narrows
it down! Do you suck dicks!
COWBOY: Dale, no, Dale!
DALE: Are you a peter-puffer?
COWBOY: Dale, no, Dale!
DALE: I'll bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not
even have the goddam common courtesy to give him a reach-around! I'll be
watching you!
I had the dentist yesterday and when I got there the receptionist was telling the (very fucking bored) patient in the waiting room that we should bring back hanging for rapists and murderers (can't say I completely disagree!) and that the Saudi's have got it right when it comes to dealing with criminals....didn't want to spoil her day by telling her that in Saudi Arabia a woman would be executed for speaking her mind like this, I just waited for the dentist while admiring the irony!!
Peace,
Marcus
P.s. If you have never seen Full Metal Jacket then do so.........now!!
DALE: I am Gunnery Sergeant Dale, your Senior "Drill" Instructor. From now
on you will speak only when spoken to, and the first and last words out of
your filthy sewers will be "Dale!" Do you maggots understand that?
RECRUITS: (in unison) Dale, yes, Dale!
DALE: Bullshit! I can't hear you. Sound off like you got a pair.
RECRUITS : (louder) Dale, yes, Dale!
I mentioned in my first blog about being able to hold my own in a conversation about football with anyone, then alluded to a story involving Ray Stubbs (for those who don't know him he was a presenter on BBC and Gary Lineker's understudy on MOTD and is now football anchorman on ESPN), not a great story but I basically bumped into him on a train between Stoke-on-Trent and Birmingham standing near the toilets and said (like a fucking starstruck teenager) "hey, you're Ray Stubbs!" he smiled and said yes and we talked football for the remaining 15 minutes of the journey when I realised why he was standing near the toilets (not to use the toilets, I hasten to add) but he was in fact dodging his fare!! ..........Ray Stubbs ladies and gents, football presenter, pundit, ladies man (I guess!!) and fare dodger..... legend!
Anyone who has seen Scrubs (and enjoys it like me) would have seen "Ted's band", but only last week whilst using Last.FM on the Xbox 360 (which is brilliant) I found out that they are a real band and have a website and everything so check them out... http://www.theblankswebsite.com/
Open mic night at The Gresham was another absolute blinder, I met Dom from http://www.domfarelli.blogspot.com/ and we chatted about stuff including whether S**** fucked R*** or not and why it only lasted one week! As for the music we had Pop, Rock, Acapella and improv-metal as well as a masterful performance of "Raining Blood" by Slayer (not the real Slayer of course!). Next one is 4Th Feb so come along........Its skill (love that word!)
DALE: Where in hell are you from anyway, Private?
COWBOY: Dale, Texas, Dale!
DALE: Holy dogshit! Texas! Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private
Cowboy! And you don't look much like a steer to me, so that kinda narrows
it down! Do you suck dicks!
COWBOY: Dale, no, Dale!
DALE: Are you a peter-puffer?
COWBOY: Dale, no, Dale!
DALE: I'll bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not
even have the goddam common courtesy to give him a reach-around! I'll be
watching you!
I had the dentist yesterday and when I got there the receptionist was telling the (very fucking bored) patient in the waiting room that we should bring back hanging for rapists and murderers (can't say I completely disagree!) and that the Saudi's have got it right when it comes to dealing with criminals....didn't want to spoil her day by telling her that in Saudi Arabia a woman would be executed for speaking her mind like this, I just waited for the dentist while admiring the irony!!
Peace,
Marcus
P.s. If you have never seen Full Metal Jacket then do so.........now!!
Wednesday 20 January 2010
Hungover with Kevin Bacon
Firstly, I am writing this with a little bit of a hangover, but don't let that be an issue as to the level of interesting conduits of pleasure I can pass on (no idea if that is even a correct phrase but I liked it a lot!)
Tangy Cheese Doritos with cream cheese (preferably Philadelphia) are tasty treats......fact!!
As always a little on LFC, another disappointing result against Stoke however i couldn't be bothered to go and beat Lucas with Grandpa's sock as I was still full from dinner, Spurs at Anfield tonight, still missing Torres, Gerrard, Benayoun and Johnson so will be tough but Lucas (more specifically his head) is counting on a win to give our chances of a fourth place finish a much better chance.
Still with LFC, Andriy Voronin has finally left the club to join some Russian team (if I had cared I would have told you who!) and Soccer AM decided to say goodbye in their own unique style, thank you Soccer AM this is genius... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6l7bA6DC1Sk&feature=related
Whilst doing something else entirely my girlfriend was watching Will & Grace and I happened to catch some of it (see what I did there!), it was an episode with Kevin Bacon starring, I'll save on setting the scene but in the way that (amongst other people) students play the fabled "Six degrees of Kevin Bacon" he was asked how come he knew Val Kilmer.
Will: You — you did a movie with Val Kilmer?
Kevin: No, but Val was in Top Gun with Tom Cruise, and Tom was in A Few Good Men with me. Huh, that was a short one....
...made I laugh.
Just for the record, I think I could hold my own against anyone playing Six degrees of Kevin Bacon!! Oh and if anyone cares William Rufus Shafter has a Bacon number of 8 (certainly one of the highest ever) and here is how...
William Rufus Shafter was in Surrender of General Toral (1898) with Joseph Wheeler.
Joseph Wheeler was in General Wheeler and Secretary of War Alger at Camp Wikoff (1898) with Russell Alexander Alger.
Russell Alexander Alger was in President McKinley's Inspection of Camp Wikoff (1898) with William McKinley.
William McKinley was in President McKinley and Escort Going to the Capitol (1901) with Nelson Miles.
Nelson Miles was in The Indian Wars (1914) with William F. Cody.
William F. Cody was in Buffalo Bill's Wild West and Pawnee Bill's Far East (1910) with Major Gordon W. 'Pawnee Bill' Lillie.
Major Gordon W. 'Pawnee Bill' Lillie was in In the Days of the Thundering Herd (1914) with Wheeler Oakman.
Wheeler Oakman was in Flash Gordon's Trip to Mars (1938) with Jerry Gardner.
Jerry Gardner was in Natural Born Killers (1994) with Pruitt Taylor Vince.
Pruitt Taylor Vince was in 24 Hours (2002) with Kevin Bacon!!!
Takeover of Cross Keys is T-minus 8 days!!
Thursday night open mic 8.30pm at The Gresham, Mostyn Street with Cyra Elia hosting, come along and sing or be sung to whilst drinking!!
Peace,
Marcus
Tangy Cheese Doritos with cream cheese (preferably Philadelphia) are tasty treats......fact!!
As always a little on LFC, another disappointing result against Stoke however i couldn't be bothered to go and beat Lucas with Grandpa's sock as I was still full from dinner, Spurs at Anfield tonight, still missing Torres, Gerrard, Benayoun and Johnson so will be tough but Lucas (more specifically his head) is counting on a win to give our chances of a fourth place finish a much better chance.
Still with LFC, Andriy Voronin has finally left the club to join some Russian team (if I had cared I would have told you who!) and Soccer AM decided to say goodbye in their own unique style, thank you Soccer AM this is genius... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6l7bA6DC1Sk&feature=related
Whilst doing something else entirely my girlfriend was watching Will & Grace and I happened to catch some of it (see what I did there!), it was an episode with Kevin Bacon starring, I'll save on setting the scene but in the way that (amongst other people) students play the fabled "Six degrees of Kevin Bacon" he was asked how come he knew Val Kilmer.
Will: You — you did a movie with Val Kilmer?
Kevin: No, but Val was in Top Gun with Tom Cruise, and Tom was in A Few Good Men with me. Huh, that was a short one....
...made I laugh.
Just for the record, I think I could hold my own against anyone playing Six degrees of Kevin Bacon!! Oh and if anyone cares William Rufus Shafter has a Bacon number of 8 (certainly one of the highest ever) and here is how...
William Rufus Shafter was in Surrender of General Toral (1898) with Joseph Wheeler.
Joseph Wheeler was in General Wheeler and Secretary of War Alger at Camp Wikoff (1898) with Russell Alexander Alger.
Russell Alexander Alger was in President McKinley's Inspection of Camp Wikoff (1898) with William McKinley.
William McKinley was in President McKinley and Escort Going to the Capitol (1901) with Nelson Miles.
Nelson Miles was in The Indian Wars (1914) with William F. Cody.
William F. Cody was in Buffalo Bill's Wild West and Pawnee Bill's Far East (1910) with Major Gordon W. 'Pawnee Bill' Lillie.
Major Gordon W. 'Pawnee Bill' Lillie was in In the Days of the Thundering Herd (1914) with Wheeler Oakman.
Wheeler Oakman was in Flash Gordon's Trip to Mars (1938) with Jerry Gardner.
Jerry Gardner was in Natural Born Killers (1994) with Pruitt Taylor Vince.
Pruitt Taylor Vince was in 24 Hours (2002) with Kevin Bacon!!!
Takeover of Cross Keys is T-minus 8 days!!
Thursday night open mic 8.30pm at The Gresham, Mostyn Street with Cyra Elia hosting, come along and sing or be sung to whilst drinking!!
Peace,
Marcus
Saturday 16 January 2010
Birthday blog!
So it seems that i should actually wait a bit to write my next blog but had a few things i wanted to say and as its my birthday i can do what i want (i know this cos my mum told me!!)
I'll start again with Liverpool FC (albeit much more brief than before) Gerrard, Torres and Benayoun all injured is shit! We had better win today against Stoke (slightly torn as i lived in Stoke a few years back and had a soft spot for Stoke City) or i will be forced to drive to Liverpool and beat Lucas around the head with Grandpa's sock*.
*An long army surplus sock full of old 2p coins...brutal!!
On a brighter note i have received an awesome present (because as i said it is my birthday) my amazing fiance has bought us tickets to see Pearl Jam in Belfast!!!! That would be part 2 of my holy trinity of seeing bands live i loved when i was younger complete (saw Faith no More at Download festival last year, seeing Pearl Jam this year so just have to wait for Rage against the Machine to reform and play some gigs).
I saw that Thomas Cook advert with Jamie and Louise Redknapp this morning, those two love themselves quite a lot, bearing in mind Jamie is a former LFC legend and Louise is, well no other word for it........very hot!! I find myself reaching for either the remote or a bucket when i see it, I didn't realise just how many scenarios occur that require Jamie not to have a shirt on!
After listening to The Podcast Four's first podcast about (amongst a lot of other things) censorship i found myself thinking more about a story i heard involving a friend of a friend (no names will be used!) who got home very drunk one night and proceeded to go on Facebook and send a private message to the first black girl he found (i won't repeat what the message said but needless to say it was in very bad taste!) this was a while back and to my knowledge has had no comeback at all about it, this leads me to another friend of a friend who put his Xbox live Gamertag (for those who don't know that is your online identity when playing on Xbox live) as "happynigga", now this guy is black (not that Xbox admin knew this) and he was forced by Microsoft to change his name, however shortly after this i was playing cod (again not the fish!) and come up against somebody with a name far worse than my friends friend, so i asked him about it to which he replied "dunno, funny though ain't it!?".........his gamertag was "IHAVEMADDIE!!" Just to round up "happynigga" bad "IHAVEMADDIE!!" good....well done Microsoft!
If anyone reading cares then the band i play guitar for (Cyra Elia, funny name, great band!) are hosting an open mic night at The Gresham, Mostyn street, Llandudno, so come along anyone that wants to and if you can play an instrument or sing then have a go, its on every other Thursday and the next one is Thursday 21st Jan.
Seeing as its my birthday (mentioned 3 times in one blog!) i will finish now as i am being taken to lunch by my mother, i will leave you to ponder this very important question, If they have gay nights at regular heterosexual bars.....do they have straight nights at gay bars?
Peace,
Marcus.
P.s did i mention that today is my birthday!!??
I'll start again with Liverpool FC (albeit much more brief than before) Gerrard, Torres and Benayoun all injured is shit! We had better win today against Stoke (slightly torn as i lived in Stoke a few years back and had a soft spot for Stoke City) or i will be forced to drive to Liverpool and beat Lucas around the head with Grandpa's sock*.
*An long army surplus sock full of old 2p coins...brutal!!
On a brighter note i have received an awesome present (because as i said it is my birthday) my amazing fiance has bought us tickets to see Pearl Jam in Belfast!!!! That would be part 2 of my holy trinity of seeing bands live i loved when i was younger complete (saw Faith no More at Download festival last year, seeing Pearl Jam this year so just have to wait for Rage against the Machine to reform and play some gigs).
I saw that Thomas Cook advert with Jamie and Louise Redknapp this morning, those two love themselves quite a lot, bearing in mind Jamie is a former LFC legend and Louise is, well no other word for it........very hot!! I find myself reaching for either the remote or a bucket when i see it, I didn't realise just how many scenarios occur that require Jamie not to have a shirt on!
After listening to The Podcast Four's first podcast about (amongst a lot of other things) censorship i found myself thinking more about a story i heard involving a friend of a friend (no names will be used!) who got home very drunk one night and proceeded to go on Facebook and send a private message to the first black girl he found (i won't repeat what the message said but needless to say it was in very bad taste!) this was a while back and to my knowledge has had no comeback at all about it, this leads me to another friend of a friend who put his Xbox live Gamertag (for those who don't know that is your online identity when playing on Xbox live) as "happynigga", now this guy is black (not that Xbox admin knew this) and he was forced by Microsoft to change his name, however shortly after this i was playing cod (again not the fish!) and come up against somebody with a name far worse than my friends friend, so i asked him about it to which he replied "dunno, funny though ain't it!?".........his gamertag was "IHAVEMADDIE!!" Just to round up "happynigga" bad "IHAVEMADDIE!!" good....well done Microsoft!
If anyone reading cares then the band i play guitar for (Cyra Elia, funny name, great band!) are hosting an open mic night at The Gresham, Mostyn street, Llandudno, so come along anyone that wants to and if you can play an instrument or sing then have a go, its on every other Thursday and the next one is Thursday 21st Jan.
Seeing as its my birthday (mentioned 3 times in one blog!) i will finish now as i am being taken to lunch by my mother, i will leave you to ponder this very important question, If they have gay nights at regular heterosexual bars.....do they have straight nights at gay bars?
Peace,
Marcus.
P.s did i mention that today is my birthday!!??
Thursday 14 January 2010
First one!
So i don't know what exactly I'm meant to do on this "blogging" malarkey but i thought i would just talk about stuff and see how it goes....
I will start with Liverpool FC!! I have been a fan since i was 5 years old (I'm 31 in 2 days) when i was in the pub my family owned and we were having some decorating done and one of the decorators was a scouser convinced me that LFC were the team who i should support and the rest is history, yes I'm from the south and have only been to Anfield a dozen or so times but why does this make me less of a fan than a season ticket holder who hasn't missed a home game since 1978? I can hold my own in a conversation with anybody regarding football (even Ray Stubbs but that story can wait for another day). However my point at the moment is why are we so shit? (see how i say "we" for Liverpool FC....i know that annoys people!!) last season we finished second in the Premier league after winning more games than anybody else, loosing the least and scoring the most goals, too many draws was our downfall and so we finished second only four points behind Man Utd in first (I know a lot of LFC fans like to refer to Man Utd as several funny names like Man Ure etc but i am well above that so from now on they will be referred to simply as "The Scum"!!). We sold Alonso and bought Aquilani (injury prone but showing signs of some real talent however for now... i still miss Xabi!) we sold Arbeloa but brought in Johnson however for some reason Rafa seemed less inclined to actually add to the squad especially in the form of a striker to take the burden of Torres. So the season starts and by November we were out of any form of title race, out of the league cup and also out of the Champions league!! So we come to last night......An F.A Cup replay against Reading (who are struggling in the Championship!) we should have been able to rest Gerrard, Torres, Carragher and Reina safe in the knowledge that a team of LFC's standard should overcome Reading even with missing their star players and cruised through to round four, but for some reason I'm sat here the next day knowing that we now have no chance of any silverware this year (other than maybe the Europa league and I'll take any bet we meet Everton on the way and get knocked out!) and no money to buy more players. I'll end this piece by saying that i renounce my support of football altogether until June 11Th (opening day of world cup) and will start supporting.... ah fuck it who am i kidding? I'm destined for a depressing reading of newspapers, monotonous games on T.V and endless ribbing from my non LFC supporting friends and relatives.......bollocks!!!
I went and saw Avatar (in 3D no less!) last Weds and what a treat it was, i was slightly sceptical because of the length of the film and the fact i knew there was some overriding love story attached to it but i couldn't have been more wrong. I won't say anything about it yet to avoid spoiling it for those who have yet to see but i implore you to go and see it and will give it a proper review in a couple of weeks.
I have been playing Forza 3 on the Xbox 360 recently and it is quite frankly brilliant, it is so realistic you feel as if you are actually driving, I have just reached driving level 39 (i dunno if that is good or not, it could be 39 out of 500 which means I'm shit or its 39 from 40 which would suggest i am a Forza god!) and own some pretty shit hot cars! Also been playing Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 (to be known as cod from now on (although not to be confused with item that is served with chips)) and it is absolutely amazing, I have just reached "prestige" level online which means i'm great!! I have also had several LAN (local are network) parties recently with some of mine and my girlfriends friends which means 8, 10, 12 and up to 16 people all get in a room with a 360 and a TV each, link them all together and proceed to kill each other (virtually of course!!) over the duration of a day which is 10 times more fun then it sounds!
It occurs to me that this has turned into a dairy more than a blog but hey ho that's they way it goes sometimes, just to balance it out by commentating on a few things i have seen or heard recently...
Gavin from Autoglass seems a complete cunt!!
I have been mostly listening to the podcast four this week....funny, illuminating and mostly made up but am enjoying it immensely http://podcastfour.blogspot.com/
On a separate self-publicising note I have just bought The Cross Keys in Madoc Street, Llandudno which i will take over and open on 1st February so if anyone reading this fancies coming along for a pint then please do so as we aim to take this pub back to its former glory when Ritchie and his fellow Whittingham's had it, There will be a weekly quiz, regular karaoke and plenty of live entertainment from some of the best local bands around. Anybody with any ideas for the pub or anything you wanna say about the blog please feel free to contact me.
Thanks very much for reading
I will start with Liverpool FC!! I have been a fan since i was 5 years old (I'm 31 in 2 days) when i was in the pub my family owned and we were having some decorating done and one of the decorators was a scouser convinced me that LFC were the team who i should support and the rest is history, yes I'm from the south and have only been to Anfield a dozen or so times but why does this make me less of a fan than a season ticket holder who hasn't missed a home game since 1978? I can hold my own in a conversation with anybody regarding football (even Ray Stubbs but that story can wait for another day). However my point at the moment is why are we so shit? (see how i say "we" for Liverpool FC....i know that annoys people!!) last season we finished second in the Premier league after winning more games than anybody else, loosing the least and scoring the most goals, too many draws was our downfall and so we finished second only four points behind Man Utd in first (I know a lot of LFC fans like to refer to Man Utd as several funny names like Man Ure etc but i am well above that so from now on they will be referred to simply as "The Scum"!!). We sold Alonso and bought Aquilani (injury prone but showing signs of some real talent however for now... i still miss Xabi!) we sold Arbeloa but brought in Johnson however for some reason Rafa seemed less inclined to actually add to the squad especially in the form of a striker to take the burden of Torres. So the season starts and by November we were out of any form of title race, out of the league cup and also out of the Champions league!! So we come to last night......An F.A Cup replay against Reading (who are struggling in the Championship!) we should have been able to rest Gerrard, Torres, Carragher and Reina safe in the knowledge that a team of LFC's standard should overcome Reading even with missing their star players and cruised through to round four, but for some reason I'm sat here the next day knowing that we now have no chance of any silverware this year (other than maybe the Europa league and I'll take any bet we meet Everton on the way and get knocked out!) and no money to buy more players. I'll end this piece by saying that i renounce my support of football altogether until June 11Th (opening day of world cup) and will start supporting.... ah fuck it who am i kidding? I'm destined for a depressing reading of newspapers, monotonous games on T.V and endless ribbing from my non LFC supporting friends and relatives.......bollocks!!!
I went and saw Avatar (in 3D no less!) last Weds and what a treat it was, i was slightly sceptical because of the length of the film and the fact i knew there was some overriding love story attached to it but i couldn't have been more wrong. I won't say anything about it yet to avoid spoiling it for those who have yet to see but i implore you to go and see it and will give it a proper review in a couple of weeks.
I have been playing Forza 3 on the Xbox 360 recently and it is quite frankly brilliant, it is so realistic you feel as if you are actually driving, I have just reached driving level 39 (i dunno if that is good or not, it could be 39 out of 500 which means I'm shit or its 39 from 40 which would suggest i am a Forza god!) and own some pretty shit hot cars! Also been playing Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 (to be known as cod from now on (although not to be confused with item that is served with chips)) and it is absolutely amazing, I have just reached "prestige" level online which means i'm great!! I have also had several LAN (local are network) parties recently with some of mine and my girlfriends friends which means 8, 10, 12 and up to 16 people all get in a room with a 360 and a TV each, link them all together and proceed to kill each other (virtually of course!!) over the duration of a day which is 10 times more fun then it sounds!
It occurs to me that this has turned into a dairy more than a blog but hey ho that's they way it goes sometimes, just to balance it out by commentating on a few things i have seen or heard recently...
Gavin from Autoglass seems a complete cunt!!
I have been mostly listening to the podcast four this week....funny, illuminating and mostly made up but am enjoying it immensely http://podcastfour.blogspot.com/
On a separate self-publicising note I have just bought The Cross Keys in Madoc Street, Llandudno which i will take over and open on 1st February so if anyone reading this fancies coming along for a pint then please do so as we aim to take this pub back to its former glory when Ritchie and his fellow Whittingham's had it, There will be a weekly quiz, regular karaoke and plenty of live entertainment from some of the best local bands around. Anybody with any ideas for the pub or anything you wanna say about the blog please feel free to contact me.
Thanks very much for reading
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