Live a little, then tell me!!

Have I ever mentioned how time consuming running a pub is? It has been months since my last blog and for this I apologise, so....whats been happening while I've been away?

Well, Liverpool is not something I am going to talk about, if you would like to hear my thoughts on this matter then you can listen to The Sportscast, that's right, George and I from the Podcast Four have started our own sportscast and here is our logo.

Regarding the Podcast, I have finally been promoted to full member, well Dom just changed my name from the special guest list to the cast list, so I am actively looking for a pay rise or at least some expenses!

Next up is the pub, "How is it going?" you ask, well, we are leaving on 19th January! So not that well....but thanks for asking.

Ever rising beer prices and rent added to a global sense of "we are not spending any money because it's nearly Christmas!" which has just followed "we are not spending any money because it's nearly Halloween!" which followed....you get the idea! So in a mere 11 weeks I will be back amongst the muggles doing a real job and living in a real flat....cannot fucking wait!

I will blog after I leave and explain fully but while I am still in the pub it would be unprofessional, not that I give two fucks about professionalism, but even so....

So, other things that have happened to me since my last blog...I have had one article printed in the Daily Post about Malcolm Allison (former Man City manager who died recently) I also have a "Taste test" of the Bengal Dynasty, which is basically a review of a restaurant, that will be in the Post in a couple of weeks, so it appears I could be the next John Terode (only better looking)

My band (not MY band but the band I play in!) Cyra Elia (again, strange name but great band) have really pushed on recently, we played at Headstock twice, (Headstock is an outdoor mini-festival put on by the King's Head pub on the 1st, 3rd and last Sundays in August) there were hundreds of people watching and we played really well I thought, here are a couple of videos from YouToooob from that gig, one of "I am not a robot" by Marina and the Diamonds and "Rabbit Heart" by Florence and the Machine, I'm the one in the stingy rimmed trilby (what an epic name for a hat!)

We also recently played the Conwy Food Festival, here are a selection of pictures of us performing, again I am wearing the hat!

Just checked my lottery numbers from last night, I did not win therefore I shall continue!

Currently reading Keith Richards autobiography, it's pretty awesome, I enjoy an autobiography that is honest and pulls no punches, I have read several in my life and am constantly amazed at what pandering shite is considered worthy enough to pay money for (I assure you if I charged for this blog I would get precisely 1 reader....me!) If you are going to write a warts'n'all story of what has happened in your life then either wait till you have retired (footballers) or wait till you are clean (rock stars) anybody else just wait till you have actually lived through something before writing it down.

Fuck me, I just thought I would check amazon and what do you know...Justin fucking Bieber? Beiber? Beeber? Beaber? whatever! He has released an autobiography, he is 16 years old and has been famous for about 20 minutes, nobody gives a holy fuck what has happened in his life except 12 year old girls, and they shouldn't be allowed to have an opinion until they are 18 (when by that time he will either be forgotten, dead or in rehab)

I see that Gavin from autoglass really has gone......YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

I'll say that it won't be as long till my next blog but you know me, so lets just agree there will be a new one....sometime!

Peace,

Marcus.

P.S. Just watched BASEketball for the first time in a couple of years, amazing, seriously watch it!!

Open Mics, Crazy nights and Mentals (doesn't rhyme but fuck it!)

So......even though I said it wouldn't be as long until my next blog, turns out it has been longer, but there you go, if you have a problem with it, see your local MP!!

I'll start with my pub....cue shameful plug........Open mic night last night, it really has turned into the best night around, It started up at the Gresham on Mostyn Street but when they temporarily closed it moved down to the Keys, it is now held weekly and alternatively between us and the Gresh. A very eclectic mix last night starting with Rachel, Greg and Joel (3/5ths of Cyra Elia, myself being another fifth) doing a couple of covers, then another band, Marmaduke who are four piece again with a female lead, sounded good to me.

Then it got a bit different, Sean Parry who is an amazingly talented artist (see here) played a baron drum and his freind Gaz on a homemade (Seasick Steve-esque) guitar played a few celtic tunes, really different and very cool, Cyra Elia came back as a full 5 piece band and did a couple before what was undoubtedly the highlight of the night.....My good self on guitar and lead vocals singing Baker Street with my friend Matt on Sax, he is an incredible sax player and proved it with this and a later performance, I don't mean to brag but it was fucking awesome!!

I won't keep on about it all I will say is if you (the reader!) live close enough then I emplore you to pop down and check the open Mic out as it really is something very different but also a genuinely great night out.............plug over!

I've done lots of Podcasts with Dom and George, still to break into iTunes top 100 comedy podcasts but it can only be a matter of time! George is away for 3 weeks now so it'll be a nice experience for Dom and I not being perpetually interrupted when we are sharing a story/link/improv-acoustic song, here is a snippet of our musical genius!

As always a little on LFC, New manager with Roy Hodgson, I for one am happy with his appointment and he is already showing his worth by signing Joe Cole for free and seemingly convincing Steven Gerrard to stay (looks like Lucas the cunt is staying aswell though......!!) so here is to a promising season ahead (sure I said that last year aswell!!)

I have started watching The Wire again from the start, I really love this show and am enjoying this time around more than before because you still learn so much about the characters, In episode four there is a scene that for my money could be one of the greatest scenes in TV history, basically two of the main characters rework a murder scene from a few months back using only one word!! (Here is a link, don't worry for those who have never seen The Wire, it contains no spoilers, only genius!)

While typing a classic example of one of the downsides to running a pub, a guy has just come in and asked where the jukebox is, when I told him we don't have one then he simply said "Well you are gonna have to talk to me......what's your genre.............?!"

I didn't really know what he was referring to, so asked, to which the reply was "What is it you do?" I told him I run a pub then he said "So you are heading up to Glasgee, or maybe down to Guildford!?"

It was at this point that I deemed him legally mental (I have a PHD in all things mental) and proceeded to video him on my iPhone until he sussed what I was doing and promptly left! I will look at the footage and post it on my next blog.

I will also be starting my new regular feature....that facebook status is fucking mental!! (see above) This weeks lucky winner is - "You talk shit and say it without a trace, so be a big girl and say it to my face. If you can't walk the walk then don't talk the talk cos moo cows like you get outlined in chalk!!" - This status was without irony or humour but was 100% genuine and from a 20 year old woman, god bless modern society!!

I will try my bestest to keep this blog more regularly....promise!

Peace

Marcus

P.S. where are you Gavin?....huh? that's right bitch, I got you fired!!

Picky tramps, repetitive c units and finally....!!

So finally it appears the day of reckoning is upon me as I should be signing the lease on the pub tomorrow, very excited about it and with a bit of luck we will be opening on Saturday 13th February with a huge bang. The Box of Frogs are coming to play live and it will be an absolutely amazing night so get your bad selves there!!

I went to KFC the other night and passed a homeless man outside who coined the inevitable line..."got any spare change?" I didn't at the time so continued into KFC and got my food, as i was ordering I thought I would be extra nice and buy some food for the fella outside. I bought a BBQ roller thingy (basically a small twister with BBQ sauce) and with a sense of pride stepped outside to give the man his treat. I handed him the little bag and he proceeded to thank me but also informed me.......He is a fucking vegetarian.......!!

I have been learning more about how to set up my blog page so now you will see at the top links to The Cross Keys Twitter and Facebook pages and have now added my Xbox live gamercard to the sidebar, more random shit will appear soon as I find stuff to put on!

As I'm writing this, motherfucking Gavin from motherfucking Autoglass has just motherfucking appeared on my motherfucking TV.......cunt!!

The mighty LFC beat Everton 1-0 after being reduced to 10 men with only 35 mins gone in the game, Everton eventually had someone sent off despite playing all 90 minutes with the referee on their team (cynical and Kev would strongly disagree but fuck it...) Now to beat Arsenal on Weds night and forget 4th place we could easily make 3rd!!

Staying with football (or at least players) I want to comment on John Terry and his indiscretions, I have heard arguments saying whatever he has done shouldn't affect being captain, also the flip side where people think he should be banned. I personally feel as captain he has a larger responsibility than just on the field and I think Capello made the right choice to take the captaincy off Terry....but then he gave to an injury prone drug cheat!! I don't care how biased it is, Gerrard is the logical and natural choice, however this could all have been a moot point if Terry could have kept it in his pants!!

What the fuck........the Autoglass advert has just been on again.....cunts!!!

I've just realised that tonight is my last night of being unemployed....shit!!

Peace,

Marcus.

P.S. Remember Sat 13th February opening night at The Keys!!

Doppelbollocks twittering birdy, Dara?

Hmmm... so it turns out that I don't have as much to say as I thought I might today so thought I might have a theme...then realised that is a wanky idea so scrapped it.

Starting with football (as always girls and gays, scroll down (and when I say gay i'm not suggesting homosexuals don't like football, just people that don't like football are gay (not that I have anything agaist gaying either (should probably just shut up now)))) So...football, LFC play saturday in the merseyside derby against Everton, easy win as always for the mighty reds!!

Have you heard the word?

Don't really understand Twitter yet but have signed up for it on behalf of the pub (assuming I ever take over!!) so if anybody is on Twitter then "follow" me (I guess!)

http://www.twitter.com/the_cross_keys

Staying with the internet I wanted to put up a few links to videos that I love but don't know how many of you have seen them or not, I hope that there is at least one here that is new to you...

http://vimeo.co/173714 Group of office workers lypsynching to LIT's "I'm not sick but i'm not well", Thanks to Bluejooz for the link.

http://vimeo.com/8267791 Ok Go's music video for "A Million Ways"

http://vimeo.com/8267567 Ok Go again this time its "Here it Goes again"

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1928033 ....Umm, its just funny!!

Everybodys heard about the word.

Getting very excited about Download Festival after the first round of bands were announced, headlining on the friday night will be AC/DC and quite frankly it will be fine if they just play on their own all weekend, I fucking love AC/DC is what I am essentially saying, and those of you who have not heard Back in Black are missing out on one of the best albums ever made!!

Its doppelganger week on Facebook this week (supposedly) however not many people have joined in, all you have to do is change your profile pic to a celebrity who you resemble so I (obviously) went for Dara O'Briain (the host of Mock The Week, although not so obvious if you don't know what I look like...umm...I look a bit like Dara O'Briain)






















That is Dara with my lovely Fianceeeee (still not sure on those e's!!) at Alton Towers and my good self on the left in a sharp suit!!

Everybody's heard about the bird !
Bird bird bird, the bird is the word !
Everybody's heard about the bird !
Bird bird bird, the bird is the word !
Everybody's heard about the bird !
Bird bird bird, the bird is the word !
Everybody's heard about the bird !
Bird bird bird, the bird is the word !


Thats it, still no pub, getting very fucked off!!

Open Mic tonight at The Gresham.

Peace,

Marcus.

P.S. Manflu gone for those that were worried!!

Hungover with Kevin Bacon

Firstly, I am writing this with a little bit of a hangover, but don't let that be an issue as to the level of interesting conduits of pleasure I can pass on (no idea if that is even a correct phrase but I liked it a lot!)

Tangy Cheese Doritos with cream cheese (preferably Philadelphia) are tasty treats......fact!!

As always a little on LFC, another disappointing result against Stoke however i couldn't be bothered to go and beat Lucas with Grandpa's sock as I was still full from dinner, Spurs at Anfield tonight, still missing Torres, Gerrard, Benayoun and Johnson so will be tough but Lucas (more specifically his head) is counting on a win to give our chances of a fourth place finish a much better chance.

Still with LFC, Andriy Voronin has finally left the club to join some Russian team (if I had cared I would have told you who!) and Soccer AM decided to say goodbye in their own unique style, thank you Soccer AM this is genius... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6l7bA6DC1Sk&feature=related

Whilst doing something else entirely my girlfriend was watching Will & Grace and I happened to catch some of it (see what I did there!), it was an episode with Kevin Bacon starring, I'll save on setting the scene but in the way that (amongst other people) students play the fabled "Six degrees of Kevin Bacon" he was asked how come he knew Val Kilmer.
Will: You — you did a movie with Val Kilmer?
Kevin: No, but Val was in Top Gun with Tom Cruise, and Tom was in A Few Good Men with me. Huh, that was a short one....
...made I laugh.

Just for the record, I think I could hold my own against anyone playing Six degrees of Kevin Bacon!! Oh and if anyone cares William Rufus Shafter has a Bacon number of 8 (certainly one of the highest ever) and here is how...

William Rufus Shafter was in Surrender of General Toral (1898) with Joseph Wheeler.
Joseph Wheeler was in General Wheeler and Secretary of War Alger at Camp Wikoff (1898) with Russell Alexander Alger.
Russell Alexander Alger was in President McKinley's Inspection of Camp Wikoff (1898) with William McKinley.
William McKinley was in President McKinley and Escort Going to the Capitol (1901) with Nelson Miles.
Nelson Miles was in The Indian Wars (1914) with William F. Cody.
William F. Cody was in Buffalo Bill's Wild West and Pawnee Bill's Far East (1910) with Major Gordon W. 'Pawnee Bill' Lillie.
Major Gordon W. 'Pawnee Bill' Lillie was in In the Days of the Thundering Herd (1914) with Wheeler Oakman.
Wheeler Oakman was in Flash Gordon's Trip to Mars (1938) with Jerry Gardner.
Jerry Gardner was in Natural Born Killers (1994) with Pruitt Taylor Vince.
Pruitt Taylor Vince was in 24 Hours (2002) with Kevin Bacon!!!

Takeover of Cross Keys is T-minus 8 days!!

Thursday night open mic 8.30pm at The Gresham, Mostyn Street with Cyra Elia hosting, come along and sing or be sung to whilst drinking!!

Peace,

Marcus

Birthday blog!

So it seems that i should actually wait a bit to write my next blog but had a few things i wanted to say and as its my birthday i can do what i want (i know this cos my mum told me!!)

I'll start again with Liverpool FC (albeit much more brief than before) Gerrard, Torres and Benayoun all injured is shit! We had better win today against Stoke (slightly torn as i lived in Stoke a few years back and had a soft spot for Stoke City) or i will be forced to drive to Liverpool and beat Lucas around the head with Grandpa's sock*.

*An long army surplus sock full of old 2p coins...brutal!!

On a brighter note i have received an awesome present (because as i said it is my birthday) my amazing fiance has bought us tickets to see Pearl Jam in Belfast!!!! That would be part 2 of my holy trinity of seeing bands live i loved when i was younger complete (saw Faith no More at Download festival last year, seeing Pearl Jam this year so just have to wait for Rage against the Machine to reform and play some gigs).

I saw that Thomas Cook advert with Jamie and Louise Redknapp this morning, those two love themselves quite a lot, bearing in mind Jamie is a former LFC legend and Louise is, well no other word for it........very hot!! I find myself reaching for either the remote or a bucket when i see it, I didn't realise just how many scenarios occur that require Jamie not to have a shirt on!

After listening to The Podcast Four's first podcast about (amongst a lot of other things) censorship i found myself thinking more about a story i heard involving a friend of a friend (no names will be used!) who got home very drunk one night and proceeded to go on Facebook and send a private message to the first black girl he found (i won't repeat what the message said but needless to say it was in very bad taste!) this was a while back and to my knowledge has had no comeback at all about it, this leads me to another friend of a friend who put his Xbox live Gamertag (for those who don't know that is your online identity when playing on Xbox live) as "happynigga", now this guy is black (not that Xbox admin knew this) and he was forced by Microsoft to change his name, however shortly after this i was playing cod (again not the fish!) and come up against somebody with a name far worse than my friends friend, so i asked him about it to which he replied "dunno, funny though ain't it!?".........his gamertag was "IHAVEMADDIE!!" Just to round up "happynigga" bad "IHAVEMADDIE!!" good....well done Microsoft!

If anyone reading cares then the band i play guitar for (Cyra Elia, funny name, great band!) are hosting an open mic night at The Gresham, Mostyn street, Llandudno, so come along anyone that wants to and if you can play an instrument or sing then have a go, its on every other Thursday and the next one is Thursday 21st Jan.

Seeing as its my birthday (mentioned 3 times in one blog!) i will finish now as i am being taken to lunch by my mother, i will leave you to ponder this very important question, If they have gay nights at regular heterosexual bars.....do they have straight nights at gay bars?

Peace,

Marcus.

P.s did i mention that today is my birthday!!??

First one!

So i don't know what exactly I'm meant to do on this "blogging" malarkey but i thought i would just talk about stuff and see how it goes....

I will start with Liverpool FC!! I have been a fan since i was 5 years old (I'm 31 in 2 days) when i was in the pub my family owned and we were having some decorating done and one of the decorators was a scouser convinced me that LFC were the team who i should support and the rest is history, yes I'm from the south and have only been to Anfield a dozen or so times but why does this make me less of a fan than a season ticket holder who hasn't missed a home game since 1978? I can hold my own in a conversation with anybody regarding football (even Ray Stubbs but that story can wait for another day). However my point at the moment is why are we so shit? (see how i say "we" for Liverpool FC....i know that annoys people!!) last season we finished second in the Premier league after winning more games than anybody else, loosing the least and scoring the most goals, too many draws was our downfall and so we finished second only four points behind Man Utd in first (I know a lot of LFC fans like to refer to Man Utd as several funny names like Man Ure etc but i am well above that so from now on they will be referred to simply as "The Scum"!!). We sold Alonso and bought Aquilani (injury prone but showing signs of some real talent however for now... i still miss Xabi!) we sold Arbeloa but brought in Johnson however for some reason Rafa seemed less inclined to actually add to the squad especially in the form of a striker to take the burden of Torres. So the season starts and by November we were out of any form of title race, out of the league cup and also out of the Champions league!! So we come to last night......An F.A Cup replay against Reading (who are struggling in the Championship!) we should have been able to rest Gerrard, Torres, Carragher and Reina safe in the knowledge that a team of LFC's standard should overcome Reading even with missing their star players and cruised through to round four, but for some reason I'm sat here the next day knowing that we now have no chance of any silverware this year (other than maybe the Europa league and I'll take any bet we meet Everton on the way and get knocked out!) and no money to buy more players. I'll end this piece by saying that i renounce my support of football altogether until June 11Th (opening day of world cup) and will start supporting.... ah fuck it who am i kidding? I'm destined for a depressing reading of newspapers, monotonous games on T.V and endless ribbing from my non LFC supporting friends and relatives.......bollocks!!!

I went and saw Avatar (in 3D no less!) last Weds and what a treat it was, i was slightly sceptical because of the length of the film and the fact i knew there was some overriding love story attached to it but i couldn't have been more wrong. I won't say anything about it yet to avoid spoiling it for those who have yet to see but i implore you to go and see it and will give it a proper review in a couple of weeks.

I have been playing Forza 3 on the Xbox 360 recently and it is quite frankly brilliant, it is so realistic you feel as if you are actually driving, I have just reached driving level 39 (i dunno if that is good or not, it could be 39 out of 500 which means I'm shit or its 39 from 40 which would suggest i am a Forza god!) and own some pretty shit hot cars! Also been playing Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 (to be known as cod from now on (although not to be confused with item that is served with chips)) and it is absolutely amazing, I have just reached "prestige" level online which means i'm great!! I have also had several LAN (local are network) parties recently with some of mine and my girlfriends friends which means 8, 10, 12 and up to 16 people all get in a room with a 360 and a TV each, link them all together and proceed to kill each other (virtually of course!!) over the duration of a day which is 10 times more fun then it sounds!

It occurs to me that this has turned into a dairy more than a blog but hey ho that's they way it goes sometimes, just to balance it out by commentating on a few things i have seen or heard recently...

Gavin from Autoglass seems a complete cunt!!

I have been mostly listening to the podcast four this week....funny, illuminating and mostly made up but am enjoying it immensely http://podcastfour.blogspot.com/

On a separate self-publicising note I have just bought The Cross Keys in Madoc Street, Llandudno which i will take over and open on 1st February so if anyone reading this fancies coming along for a pint then please do so as we aim to take this pub back to its former glory when Ritchie and his fellow Whittingham's had it, There will be a weekly quiz, regular karaoke and plenty of live entertainment from some of the best local bands around. Anybody with any ideas for the pub or anything you wanna say about the blog please feel free to contact me.

Thanks very much for reading