Ashes diary – Day 4

I never thought I would start any writing from anywhere with the lyrics to a song by Dinah Washington, but the lyrics really do work..come on, sing along..

“ What a difference a day makes – 24 little hours”

..what a difference indeed!

23.44pm: For those keeping up with the diary you will know I had a little accident yesterday and suffered a nasty bang on my head, turns out I am suffering with mild concussion and need to rest for a day or two, on the plus side (and this really is the only plus) It means I can watch the ashes from the start while my fiancé (Faye) has to keep an eye on the pub.

As always a snack update, sadly I’m still feeling a little sick from before so no snacks, just mainlining Nurofen instead..for now!

23.48pm: 1st ball of the day as apparently we need to make up 12 more minutes from day 2, whatever you want! Come on boys, 1st target is lunch, got to make lunch without losing a wicket.

23.59pm: I see Cook is trying to piss me off by making it easy for the aussies, fortunately he edges to the only gap in the slips and it goes for four, come on Cooky, concentrate!

00.01am: Bumble and Warne are having a discussion about being wheeled around Brisbane in a wheelchair...baffling!

00.03am: I’m enjoying the commentary but my head is killing me so considering watching it in silence, only a consideration though, probably won’t.

00.05am: Change of plan r.e. snacks, Faye is preparing me a chicken and mushroom pot noodle, two slices of bread and butter and a pint of diet Pepsi, yum.

00.23am: Pot noodle and bread and butter devoured, Pepsi is a third gone and I feel slightly better, head is still hurting and the noise emanating from downstairs is very loud, but the pub will close in 15 mins and the noise will subside, thank god for that!

England are looking good at 48/0.

00.29am: 50 partnership between Strauss and Cook, good work boys, also love that it came from a mistake by X-Doh, Sky Sports use a graphic to show the partnership and have headshots of both players, Cook looks like he is a) wearing guyliner, and b)cross eyed...it is freaking me the fuck out!

00.35am: An exchange on twitter has made me chuckle a lot, here are two explanations one for people who tweet and one for those who don’t:-

Tweeters: Some girl in Massachusetts has the name @theashes and that has prompted lots and lots and lots of tweeple to tag her in all cricket related tweets to which she is starting to meltdown about, then my mate Adam tweeted me and tagged her in it, with the hashtag #joininginthefun, I am fairly sure she is either going to kill herself or....I don’t have an or!!

Non-Tweeters: Some girl in Massachusetts has the name @theashes (this is your username so you can be individually recognised) and that has prompted lots and lots and lots of tweeple (twitter users) to tag her in all cricket related tweets (status updates) to which she is starting to meltdown about, then my mate Adam tweeted me (messaged me directly) and tagged her in it (included her name as well), with the hashtag (this like stating a topic the tweet is about) #joininginthefun, I am fairly sure she is either going to kill herself (death by her own hands) or....I don’t have an or!!

#idonttrustnontwitterusers

00.55am: I have dispatched with Sky’s commentary now and on the recommendation of my fellow Sportscast cohort George, I am now listening to the commentary provided by Test Match sofa, it’s very funny, informative and interactive, I actually got a shout out for this diary from them, I will include the live commentary link below, do it, do it now, and mention me if you do!

01.00am: After closing the pub Faye has gone out to meet her sister’s at the nightclub, I told her that she must, must, must pull out the sprinkler on the dance floor!

01.12am: That’s 50 for Captain Strauss, dare I say that England are almost enjoying this now, 45 mins till lunch, that’s the target for now.

01.28am: Decided that I am not going back to Sky’s commentary now, it’s TMSofa from now on.

01.33am: X-Doh has appeared, please spank him to all parts of the ground to make this stupid fucking experiment by Australia go away (anyone that quotes “2wickets in the 1st innings” please remember that Marcus North also took a wicket yesterday with his “right arm filth”)

01.36am: Mitchell Johnson drops a dolly from Strauss, I’m struggling to see what he does...Can’t bowl, can’t bat, can’t field and has a shit moustache, so please keep on selecting him!

01.38am: They show yet another replay of Johnson dropping Strauss and in the background you see the barmy army giving him a standing ovation..haha!

02.00am: Lunch break, England are 135/0 great effort from Strauss 79 not out and Cook 51 not out, now...FIFA time.

My opponent is El Poisono (I guess Spanish?) I play as Man City, he picks Real Madrid.
Two quick early goals from me, a good passing move ending with Adebayor slotting home and a great free-kick from Tevez makes it 2-0 at half-time, no more goals and it’s a comfortable, routine victory for me.

Manchester City Vs Real Madrid
2 – 0
Adebayor 9’
Tevez 20’

02.32am: This headache is not going anywhere despite more painkillers (if you are getting bored of the mentions of my head...tough, it fucking hurts!), however I actually feel quite awake so maybe for the first time I may make it to tea.

02.45am: Strauss is looking brilliant and is now 84 not out, he may very well make it to (should I say it? Might jinx it? Might make it happen? Fuck it, I’m going to say it) his century.

02.58am: Strauss again, but this time he is top edging over the slips to unattractively bring up England’s 150 and still to lose a wicket, great effort guys!

03.03am: An LBW shout against Strauss, the aussies only have 1 review left, please use it, it was never out, they choose not to, England are 157/0.

03.09am: Strauss gets to his century, a captains innings (ooh cliché).

03.16am: Think the painkillers are really kicking in now as I feel very drowsy, my target of making tea may not happen, if this is the last entry I just hope England make it to the end of the day without losing more than 3 wickets.

09.57am: Awake (Faye doesn't work on Sunday, hence the time), quick check on Sky Sports news and England finish on 309/1 which gives us a lead of 88, an amazing days cricket, Cook reached his century finishing the day on 132 not out (I have a feeling he hardly scored more than that for the entire Ashes 2009, I’ll check that and get back to you) and Trott came in with a very handy 57 not out.

We now have two options, bat hard and fast till lunch and set them a two session target of say 275 and make a game of it, or play safe and bat through till it is a draw, I like seeing a good game of cricket so would love to see the former, but long term a draw is a much better option, especially as we could easily have lost this test.

Did I mention that my head is hurting? Hope it feels better today.

Oh and I sent the link to this diary to Sky Sports Ashes anchor Simon Thomas (@skysports_simon) and here is his reply...

@MarcusjMitchell good stuff. Hope the head's a bit better and you get better luck with your FIFA opponents this time.

...what a thoroughly bloody nice chap.

See you tomorrow.

Marcus.

Sleep count for 1st test – 22 hours (quite respectable but remember bad head + painkillers)

Food count for 1st test – 2 Cheese, Ham and Tomato toasties, 2 Ham and tomato ketchup sandwiches, 1 Chicken and Mushroom pot Noodle, 2 slices of bread and butter, 2 mallow chocs, 1 WS&V, 1 WC&O, 1 Steak kettle chips (150g), 1 Roysters, 1 crunch corner, Faye’s leftover Cantonese chicken, 4 pints of diet Pepsi, 1 pint of Beck Vier and 1 bottle of diet coke (200ml).

FIFA record P4 W3 D1 L0 – F10 A3.