Aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgh!! I have Man Flu and as always am wallowing in my own particular brand of self pity, snotty tissues, runny nose, headache and Night Nurse. For those of you who have never had Night Nurse it really is quite the medicine/opiate, you really should try it! Denis Leary did a stand-up show called No Cure for Cancer in the early nineties and in it he describes the pleasures of NyQuil (which is essentially an early version of Night Nurse), a common cold relief which includes all sorts of shit that basically knock you out (here is a link to see him telling you about it, very funny!!)
*Cough*
Got up early to watch Andy Murray lose the Australian Open final this morning (8.30 isn't early but as I am doing nothing at all at the moment it's very fucking early!!), I'm not sure if I thought he would win or not, I know he is capable but its the stigma attached to being British (not Scottish when he is good at something!). If Murray was Bulgarian but had the exact same talent then he would probably be picking up his 3rd or 4th Major title, but being British (again, not Scottish!) makes it harder, I'm sure he will win a major one day....just not today!
*Sneeze*
Staying with sport I went to The Racecourse Ground (Wrexham FC's home ground) on Friday night to see the first Superleague game of the season (Rugby League), as we were approaching Wrexham there was quite a bit of snow around so wondered if the game would even go ahead, the pitch itself was covered in a couple of inches of snow but the game went ahead in -4C weather. I know those Rugby boys are hard as nails but even I could see the expressions on their faces when being tackled....it was one of "FUCK ME...I'M FUCKING FREEZING!!)
*Sniff*
Been watching all the Bottom Live DVD's recently, I love them....that's all on that!!
I was going to mention Steven Seagal: Lawman anyway but the boys from The Podcast Four http://podcastfour.blogspot.com/ spoke about him briefly....never mind I will say what I was going to say anyway, for anyone who hasn't seen it, its about Steven Seagal having a real day job as a deputy sheriff somewhere in the arse-end of nowhere, Louisiana. In the one episode I saw the first half had Seagal and the other deputys doing police type work but in the second half it changed into...
Steven Seagal: Please somebody remember me! (Imagine this synopsis read out by a deep voiced American who normally does voice overs for epic thrillers)
"Steven Seagal is charged with his most difficult mission to date....being more self absorbed than Paris Hilton and Katie Price put together!!"
As soon as the second half started it showed him practising with his band (I have actually seen him play live.. it wasn't bad and he can really play a guitar very well) then we see him going to a children's hospital (with sunglasses on...cock) and meeting kids with all kinds of problems before shedding a crocodile tear (still with sunglasses on...double cock) and announcing he will put on a concert to help raise money for the hospital!!
Why doesn't he just give some money to the hospital instead of walking around (with sunglasses on.... Treble cock!!) hoping one of the kids has seen Nico!!
*Cough*
Still no pub yet!!
*Sneeze*
Next open mic, Thursday 4th Feb, Upstairs @ The Gresham Bar, Mostyn Street, Llandudno come one, come all (I may be performing a version of the now fabled "Fuck off Kev, I'm not making you a Coffee") assuming my Man Flu has gone by then.
*Sniff*
Peace,
Mar *Sneeze *cus!!
P.S. If you are reading this Boo Boo....you've missed your own point!!
Yeah, another great blog post. and no cunts this time either.
ReplyDeleteFuck off Kev you're not having a cup of coffee will be played at open mic nights for years to come. Once its broadcast. Or played once.